Ghosts are People Too!

Guess what! The old boat guy posted. He's not as silent as I had hoped, but I still think we can learn a lot from him, especially if we want to learn about restoring boring old boats, which we don't, (but don't tell him that). See for me it's not about the boring old boats, it's about the lessons that come from the boring old boats. It's about the metaphors and the similes and the personification in the boring old boats.

But get this, the old boat guy makes it very clear that his will not be a humorous blog, just a plain boring old blog about his love affair with a few of his boring old boats. Like that's NO laughing matter. Tee hee. I have a feeling there will be some jealous raging and drunken cat fighting between his boring boats. I say we all go make the old guy feel welcome by following him cause boring boat guys need love too.

So I'm trying to figure out a way to establish some semblance of order here in my comment box. I can't leave my peeps alone or it's like the Cat in the Hat gets all hip hop on pop in there. I'm beginning to think Mormon women really aren't crazy at all, but just seriously, so bored! (Or did I already say that?)

Progress report on my husband: I had a talk with him last night and I told him he could play tennis and basketball with my neighbor as long as he doesn't laugh at her jokes. I almost got a snort out of him with that one, but not quite.

And as for Markio, now she's trying to get me to give suggestions for her new foodporn website (Eww) and I already told her about my stance on nude potato chips. But because I want my daughter to get an A in her class I've compiled a little list of ideas for possible topics: The-Food-Cab, The-Food-Whisperer, CFI, This-Old-Food, America's-Funniest-Food-Videos, Family-Food, Dancing-with-the-Food, Up-Chuck, Up-Chuck-a-Rama, The-Deadliest-Food, Kung-Food-Chaos. The-People's-Food-Court, Crash-Test-Diet-Food-For-Dummies.

There Mariko, now you have your posts for the rest of the year! Happy?

So the Spook-a-Rama is officially over, unless you haven't gone to bed yet and you're still writing furiously. Sewl and I are gathering the entries together to hand deliver to Simon, Paula and Randy backstage. On Halloween we will post the links to the top 3 funny stories here on my site. The top 3 spooky stories will be posted on Sewl's site. The voting polls will be open all day so make sure you drop by and vote a couple million times. Since we only teach correct principals, the voting is all on your honor. We completely trust you not to vote for yourself since that would be vain and ambitious.

While you're waiting I will share a bit of my own opinions about ghosts. Many of you (well, 8 of you) cared enough to tell me you love me just the way I am, but you wish I'd get real once in a while (ouch). Others said they only come here to laugh and they don't want to know what makes a CTD tick. Mariko refused to vote and said the choices don't apply (she just doesn't get politics) and that I should be funny and real at the same time. (It's no wonder she's a hoity toity English teacher).

I will do my best to meet all of your needs, even though I'm not a pleaser anymore.

It was a dark and stormy night during one of the best and worst times of my life . . . my son was scared because I think maybe for kids it takes a while for the veil to close up tight and they are more sensitive to the presence of the other side. Or maybe he was just a fraidy cat.

My son said to me that he was afraid of the monsters. I told him that there are no such things as monsters and he had nothing to fear. He asked me how I knew there was no such thing as monsters and I said because you can't see monsters. "Look around," I told him. "Do you see any monsters?" He looked around and agreed there were none. Then I was proud of myself. I told him that if he ever felt scared of Monsters all he had to do was pray and Heavenly Father would come running to help him.

You know what that darn kid said? He looked around and said, "But I can't see Heavenly Father either."

BAM! What a smart kid. Definitely that kid is the fruit of my loins (wait, do I have loins?)

What a profound moment. I had to tell him the truth then. That we can't see Heavenly Father and we can't see Scary Monsters, but we can feeeeeeel them. And they ARE there . . . both of them. But I told him that HF trumps SM! I told him to stay on HF's side cause he can kick SM's little booty. Then we talked about Pokemon, and he asked me if Pokemon could beat up Satan and I told him that YES he certainly could as long as he stayed on HF's side because that's where he got all his pokemon powers!

Long cute story short . . . ghosts don't have to be scary. Think about it . . . WE have power over ghosts and with great power comes great responsibility. Even when the ghosts get all up in our faces and start messing with our minds and kickin' our trash around and throwing our books off our shelves, I personally think we should be more ghost friendly. Cause COME ON, we're the people here!

But then ghosts are people too. Or at least they used to be. They know sorrow and suffering and pain and envy. They know joy . . . and they probably miss joy. They're lonely sometimes and hungry and they have cravings too. They miss food and fortune cookies and Runescape and Code Red Mountain Dew. And some of them are pranksters. They miss calling their friends up and saying "Your horse is in my garden."

The ghosts that are still LURKING around us need something. We just don't know what it is. But we should find out. If someone would just take the time to care about them and maybe figure out their 5 primary love languages, we wouldn't keep misunderstanding each other.

I bet ghosts feel a lot like dentists. They get sick and tired of everyone being scared of them.

And I bet they're sick of being dead too. Think about it. Wouldn't it be so boring to be dead?

But on the other hand there are the evil jealous ghosts who never were dead because they never were alive and I think it drives them crazy that they aren't people too.  These are the ones I fear. These are the ones I don't like to talk about. They're mean and spiteful because they've never had a Jamba Juice or gone surfing or held a Charles Dickens book in their hand or been Soaring over California at Disneyland or kissed a West Point Cadet.

I've never seen any of these ghosts,  but I've felt them many many times and I know they are real.

I also know that the ghosts on HF's side are also on our side and are always fighting for us. They are busy helping us pursue our happiness and comfort us at every turn. I have felt that many times, but I've also seen them in action once after I got a blessing just as I was being prepped for my emergency C-Section.  They didn't know I could see them, but there were a lot of them and they were all there to help me.  I love those ghosts!  And I know they love me too. 

We are not alone!   And ghosts are definitely people too!

The end.