Monday, October 27, 2008

OKAY, NOW you can raise your hand if you think blogging is like smoking pakalolo!

One more hit! Just one more hit!

Are you with me on this?

Well, you've probably never smoked pakalolo then. Neither have I actually, but I have this innate ability to put myself in other people's shoes (or slippers, as we call them in Hawaii. If you're wearing shoes, you're smoking pot. If you're swearing slippers, you're smoking pakalolo.)

Getting a hit is that same rush you get when you eat 48 thin mint girl scout cookies in a row. And when you've polished off the whole bag, you sigh and think just one more and I would be completely satisfied.

My sister and I talked about this last summer. She was addicted to IKEA chocolate cake at the time and I was addicted to Nacho Libre, Japanese rice crackers and Bath and Body Works Cherry Blossom. We decided it would be a perfect world if everyone was addicted to oatmeal.

My three sons are addicted to Runescape. Whatever you do, don't ever ever ever let your children take even one puff, or one swig, or one sniff of this game. It's like the crack-cocaine of computer games.

But it's seasonal. Every addiction is seasonal here in Hawaii. I know the rest of the world thinks we don't have seasons, but we actually do. There's pog season, rollerblading season, rip-stick season and Runescape season. Right now it's that time of year when I start making soup and stuffing my face with plastic pumpkin loads of candy and my boys start getting up at 5:30 a.m. to play Runescape.

But once your kids are hooked on something, what can you do? I try to take the Mrs Piggle Wiggle approach: let them have at it, in fact, up their consumption level to the point of complete overdose and then cross your heart, hope to die and stick a hundred thousand needles in your eye.

So far it's not working. My kids are going to school like Zombies (and my eyes are killing me.)

What I don't understand is why can't my kids get hooked on phonics!?

My husband took one of my boys fishing a few weeks ago and my boy said, "fishing is addicting!"

Yeah, right. And so is oatmeal.

(Deflection is the first sign of an addict.)

He's not up at 5:30 fishing, that's for sure.

I think the Runescape people sprinkled pakalolo over their game. Either that or there are some subliminal pictures of Hooter girls.

Look closely at the game title then break it down and listen carefully to what it's tellin you. It says Run escape! Then it says Run escape! Then it screams, Did you hear me? I said Run ESCAPE!

(Ironically that's the exact same thing my gigi said when I told her I was getting married.)

I have my suspicions the Runescape people did that on purpose so after they sprinkled it with Pakilolo they could turn around and say, "Dude, it's not like we didn't warn you!"

(Hey, did I just deflect the subject of blogging addiction to computer game addiction? Do you think I could be addicted to blogging? . . . Don't answer that.)


Jen said...

My poor children don't get to play on my computer - except for the occasional math game.

Woo Hoo.

And good luck with that theory - I hope your eyes hold out.

Alyson (New England Living) said...

You? Addicted to blogging? No, never. I mean you only post like twice a day.:-)

The Crash Test Dummy said...

ha ha ha ha Alyson. (Smack!)

And I could post more,so there!!!

OOOOH, my word verifier says: recken

My silly ghost can't spell, but he sure is insightful!

Funny Farmer said...

From one addict to another - you can run but you can't escape. I just trade one addiction for another. OR two others. Deflection, indeed.


Alyson (New England Living) said...

Ok, now it's brown-nosing time: What I meant to say was I can't imagine how anyone can be as witty and insightful as you so many times a day. Please share that wit and charm at least twice a day!

Ok, do you love me again? And that smack really smarts. Ouch!

Erin The Great said...

There's nothing wrong with addiction... How do you think I find all those great 80's Music Videos?? Can I get an Amen?!

PS... blogging is like relief society.... (But you didn't hear it from me)

Pat said...

I love Mrs. Piggle Wiggle. Another connection. Are you sure we aren't twins seperated at birth?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

hee hee hee

Good one, Erin. HA HA!

Mrs.Piggle Wiggle Rocks.

And Alyson, nice come back. You're in my good graces again.

And Lisa, you are so wise and right on!

Laura said...

What can I say?
Just wanted to leave a post- I know how it gives you a "fix".
Had a blast today- wish some of your whit would rub off on me!

KnightSlayer said...

Addicted to blogging? The fact that I can't read them as fast as you write them doesn't mean that you are addicted. I'm just a slow reader, plus I've been trying to get to that next level in Runescape! I know I can do it! I just need more time!
- Eric

Hmmm, my verification word is reedemul?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Heee heee Knightslayer is almost as funny as me.

And see what I mean about my verifier. Is so verifying.

Martha said...

I feel totally responsible for corrupting your boys on this Runescape thing. I keep hoping J will get over it, but he's getting worse. I can't wait for basketball season to start so he will have that to take up his time.

Did I tell you A opened an trading account and bought real stock because he has learned so much about trading from runescape? His stock is actually up now, so he must have picked well since all the other stocks in the whole world are down.

Maybe you should blog about we've lost half our retirement money (just and idea).

Martha said...


There are a few advantages to Runescape. When J is playing he is not teasing or beating up anyone. This is a major benefit and our home is much more peaceful now.

Plus, I have complete control over him. If he doesn't clean his room, no Runescape. When he beats up T, no Runescape. Bad grades, you guessed it (although the dang kid is so smart he never has bad grades). But if he did, I'd have have something that he loves so much he will be in my power.

So remember to use it because it hurts to lose it.

OldBoatGuy said...

Brown-nosing......I haven't heard that since my Army days in the fifty's.

And what's with this "verification" thing?

Jami said...

Ah, here begins the oldboatguy.