One more hit! Just one more hit!
Are you with me on this?
Well, you've probably never smoked pakalolo then. Neither have I actually, but I have this innate ability to put myself in other people's shoes (or slippers, as we call them in Hawaii. If you're wearing shoes, you're smoking pot. If you're swearing slippers, you're smoking pakalolo.)
Getting a hit is that same rush you get when you eat 48 thin mint girl scout cookies in a row. And when you've polished off the whole bag, you sigh and think just one more and I would be completely satisfied.
My sister and I talked about this last summer. She was addicted to IKEA chocolate cake at the time and I was addicted to Nacho Libre, Japanese rice crackers and Bath and Body Works Cherry Blossom. We decided it would be a perfect world if everyone was addicted to oatmeal.
My three sons are addicted to Runescape. Whatever you do, don't ever ever ever let your children take even one puff, or one swig, or one sniff of this game. It's like the crack-cocaine of computer games.
But it's seasonal. Every addiction is seasonal here in Hawaii. I know the rest of the world thinks we don't have seasons, but we actually do. There's pog season, rollerblading season, rip-stick season and Runescape season. Right now it's that time of year when I start making soup and stuffing my face with plastic pumpkin loads of candy and my boys start getting up at 5:30 a.m. to play Runescape.
But once your kids are hooked on something, what can you do? I try to take the Mrs Piggle Wiggle approach: let them have at it, in fact, up their consumption level to the point of complete overdose and then cross your heart, hope to die and stick a hundred thousand needles in your eye.
So far it's not working. My kids are going to school like Zombies (and my eyes are killing me.)
What I don't understand is why can't my kids get hooked on phonics!?
My husband took one of my boys fishing a few weeks ago and my boy said, "fishing is addicting!"
Yeah, right. And so is oatmeal.
(Deflection is the first sign of an addict.)
He's not up at 5:30 fishing, that's for sure.
I think the Runescape people sprinkled pakalolo over their game. Either that or there are some subliminal pictures of Hooter girls.
Look closely at the game title then break it down and listen carefully to what it's tellin you. It says Run escape! Then it says Run escape! Then it screams, Did you hear me? I said Run ESCAPE!
(Ironically that's the exact same thing my gigi said when I told her I was getting married.)
I have my suspicions the Runescape people did that on purpose so after they sprinkled it with Pakilolo they could turn around and say, "Dude, it's not like we didn't warn you!"
(Hey, did I just deflect the subject of blogging addiction to computer game addiction? Do you think I could be addicted to blogging? . . . Don't answer that.)