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Friday, October 24, 2008

You know what's annoying?

(Contests. Contests are annoying. I had to go a whole day without talking about important issues, like Polygamy, just so I could plug the Spook-A-Rama. I'm sick to death of walking around the whole neighborhood just to put Spook-A-Rama flyers on blog windshields. I think I need more friends! I'm too introverted, that's my problem. My dad used to tell me he worried about me because I was so withdrawn. Whenever he said that I would always think, well, DUH, you're a drug addict.

Too bad we can't magically transform our personalities like we can magically transform our blogs
. (Psst. come ere . . . do you want to hear a secret . . . I thought going under the blog knife would make me feel better about myself, but actually I'm already sick of staring at myself all day and saying "girlfriend, you are so HOT" cause underneath it all I'm still the same introverted, withdrawn girl who can't get anyone in Provo to pay attention to me.)

You know what else is annoying? LLCs (long lost cousins) who try to steal the lime light. I over heard Sewl in her comment box, telling Alison from NEL, that she's going to post a super spooky true ghost story soon. I don't know Sewl that well because we just reunited after 25 years, but do you think she's trying to get you guys to write her name in on the ghost story ballot so she can win this contest? (I bet she wants the LOLOMGWTFLDSBBQ T-shirt from Tamn.)

And you know what else is annoying? Mouthy lurkers. At first glance it seems oxymoronic, but really, it's just moronic. If someone claims to be a lurker then why do they all the sudden start spilling their guts in an organized fashion all over your comment box? In the first place, if you're going to spill your guts, why do it in an organized fashion with your guts all listed in numerical order?

I say that any hoity toity smarty pants English teacher lurking in numerical order should be sentenced to help me and Sewl judge our
Spook-a-Rama contest?

Do I hear an aye? Or a here-here!?


Oh wait, but then she couldn't enter and then I couldn't stamp a big red REJECTED on her ghost story.

Never mind.)

I'm not a competitive person by nature, but do you want to hear something spooky? (And if you decide to write my name in and vote for me on the contest ballot just keep it on the DL).

This
Spook-A-Rama is really starting to spook me out.

You know how when you're about to go on a mission or get married in the temple or re-vamp the visiting teaching list you get all this opposition from the "other side"? Well, that is happening to me in reverse. It's almost like some powerful force from the "other side" is trying to keep me from promoting this contest. My husband says I'm just lazy and that I just gotta get out there and pound the pavement, but I think someone or something doesn't want us to encourage people to tell their stories and get everyone B.E.L.I.E.V.I.N.G. in ghosts.

Anyway, you'll never believe what happened to me a few nights ago! And I know you don't trust me, and I don't blame you because I do like to mess with your mind, but every single part of this story is exactly true, except I'm going to add an ambulance, but that's all.

Go turn all the lights on in the house and make some popcorn before you read this.

Go ahead, I'll wait for you.

Oh, and will you bring me some popcorn too?



4 comments:

Alyson (New England Living) said...

Shot! My laptop is about to run out of batteries before I can read your tale! I must plug it in and return in the morning.

Mariko said...

You haven't even seen mouthy, yet.
And I never claimed to be a lurker. I proclaimed my presence the second I read all of your previous posts, because I felt guilty for not saying anything. Blog stalker, yes. Lurker, no.

Kristina P. said...

You, Mary, and I need to start a blog. WE could take down every mouthy lurker.

Erin The Great said...

There's nothing wrong with being introverted!

I agree about the lurkers... those people who leave annonymous comments to try and make you 'see the light'... yes evil lurkers! good luck with that.