Thursday, November 6, 2008

Turn down your volume, cuz I'M COMIN' OUT!

For those of you who thought I created Pat and The Old Boat Man and Tamn and Cordy and the Crash Test Dummy, and now Wolgang, this post is for you.

And for those of you who didn't believe a dummy like me could be an English teacher, to you I say . . . the proof is in the pudding. Or, as my daughter's debate teacher always says, the proof of the pudding is in the eating.

(Am I the only one who thinks that makes no sense?)

Anyway, today I wore my super-spy camera glasses to my class and snapped some top secret photos. Then I had all my students sign release forms and swear on the B.O.M and the Shakespeare Reader that if they were picked up by a modeling agency I would get 51% of the profits.

So raise your hand if you want to see what a dummy looks like in real life.



Look out world!

I'm coming OUT Of the dummy closet.

With my whole class!

(Or at least those who signed the release form and wanted extra credit.)

Here's your pudding!

This is me and Wolfgang from Austria.

We call him Wolfgang-the-Red-Nosed-Austrian for short.

You want to see the rest of the class?

Oh, here's Wolfgang T-R-N-A again, with Lauren, the school soccer star.

Oh, and guess what! Wolfgang HAS been in love. In fact he's in love right now and she loves him back so he's not a stalker OR a pervert. (Well, I can't be certain about the pervert part.)

He says you're only a stalker until you're loved in return. (But anyone can be a pervert.)

And here are the class lovelies: Inna, Nicole and Tia. Tia is my favorite because her mom named her after Tia from Escape from Witch Mountain.

More lovelies (and SMARTIES too). The others are just lovelies. (j/k dumb lovelies!)

This is Qiao and La'akea (say that five times fast). You can call them Joyce and Kea since you're not from around these parts.

They both know English better than me.  I mean, better than I.

Now for the super studious students who think dummy blogging teachers are just weird and lam-o? (my daughter told them to say that.)

Agnes and Lesieli (I just call them Agney and Lacey).

And Young Jung and Shin Young.

And here's the other Young--Hae Young. All the Youngs are from Korea (but still descendants of Brigham Young). 

How cute is Hae Young? Every time I see her she does this and mouths "Call Me!"

Here's Crazy BreeAnna and seriously-so-sane Zori, the school basketball star. 

BreeAnna is only this crazy when her husband Tofa isn't in class. He was sick today. Tofa's brother Ramsey was in my class like 10 years ago (I kinda liked Ramsey better).

And here's Timothy and Heather. See how they still sport their back packs in the middle of class. I don't know why they do that.  Maybe in case there is an emergency fire drill or something.

So do you want to see ME with my whole class (except the sick and the absent and the shy)?

Okay, I'm out!

Feels goooooooood!

It's lonely in the closet with all the other dummies.

P.S.  Everyone say a little prayer for Pat and her son, Jared who goes into surgery tomorrow/today/yesterday (depending on when you read this).  

LY, Pat!


Pat said...

Thanks Crash and everyone. I know all your prayers will help a lot.

*MARY* said...

I see proposition 10 failed to pass yet again in Hawaii. Another year of "hang loose hands" required by law in every picture taken in the Aloha state. Sorry.

My brother went to BYUH like five years ago, he hasn't taken a normal picture since.

Melanie J said...

Again it happens! I got all the way to this screen but Mary made lose my train of thought. She does that a lot.

Okay, I remember. I'm an English teacher, too. Or I was. 8th grade. Which explains the "was." Kidding. I loved it. But not working means I'm nicer to my children so I stay home. I can't do it all. I can't even do much.

OldBoatGuy said...

A nice group of kids. I can't figure out which kid is missing in the group picture. There is 15 besides you, but there is 16 when you count up all the singles and pairs. Or am I a dummy and can't count?

Where do you teach? BYU-H?

Maybe I'll drive my boat over there to see you. HeeHee. I would have to have a tanker full of gas. It gets 5 miles to the gallon!

What is thia about picture taking?

Prayers for your friends.

Becky said...

Hey, it's me. You know, not Sarah Palin. So sad that I don't get to impersonate her any longer because she's totally hot. Oh, well.

So... Wolfgang. Does he have a tragic love story in his past? Is that why he's all "Oh, that stuff never happens! Perverts and stalkers, the lot of them...?"

Becky said...

Oh, gosh! Couldn't pass this by. Word verifier: rappente. Obviously Italian for repent ye, repent ye, the end is near!!

Mariko said...

I beg to differ with Wolfgang.
You're a pervert if you read VC Andrews or see "velour" in the word verification "volouri", and you're a stalker if the one you like finds out, and lets you know he doesn't like you back, but you keep hoping anyway.
I guess I've been both in my lifetime.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Silly Mary.

Melanie, I should tell my husband that I'll be nicer to the kids if he lets me stop teaching. I wonder if that would work, cause I can't do much either.

Old Boat Guy, It's BreeAnna. She had to go to work so she ditched out 20 minutes early. I think she was lying though.

Yes, come bring your old boring boat over here. I'll pay for the gas money.

HI Becky!! I can still call you Sarah if you want.

Mariko, I appreciate the confessions and the explanations. Really I do. But no one begs to differ with Wolfgang!

And that was rude what you said about V.C Andrews!

Good luck, Pat!

P.S. I miss Jami so bad! Where is that girl?

Alyson (New England Living) said...

I don't mean to embarrass you, but you have a little something on your face in that group shot. I can't believe that none of your students pointed this out. Brats!

Debbie said...

Great pictures. Looks like everyone is having so much fun! (Well, except for the studious ones who look like they wish they could get something accomplished for a change).

The Rogers Family said...

First you tell us that to be a good writer(which you obviously are) that you have to lie, But now you are verifying that you are telling the truth.? Your class looks like a great bunch of kids. Is that a zit on your nose? Stephen

Funny Farmer said...

First: When I saw the title of this post, THAT SONG started running through my head, even before I clicked through!

Second: You mean you're a real person after all? I fully expected to see a crash-test-dummy in those pics!

Third: Why does your tan stop at your wrist?

Fourth: Last night we were discussing which schools my daughter should send her ACT scores to, and I suggested BYU-H. And my husband said, "I've heard that is like, a party school. Definitely not where you want to go for serious academics, at least."

I KNOW! Don't worry, I already socked him for you. Tomorrow I shall post a picture of his black eye on my blog.

"casary" or in other words, "a-scary!"

Hugs and Kisses to Pat!

Funny Farmer said...

And I agree, those pudding cliches have never made any sense to me. Also, "Stupid is as stupid does"...


"refidger" mmmm... lunchtime!

P.S. After all the buildup, I must say Wolfgang's picture was somewhat disappointing. I was expecting bushy sideburns, but only because I forgot that he attends the Lord's University (in paradise) and so was forced to shave off his Wolverine style facial hair. Loved the validating shot of his student ID card. Oh, the mischief I could get into with his student ID number! BAAAAA!

Funny Farmer said...

And why in HECK does your blogroll not update my blog posts!!! I'm posting, I really am!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hee hee, Lisa. Did you I blocked his ID number though. You'd have to really want that mischief!

And sock your husband AGAIN for me! Reputations are so hard to break! But it just ain't true. Did he not see those 4 students studying their brains out?

Truthfully, it's actually dang near blasted impossible for students from UT to get in over here.

Oh, and about the tan. I wear gloves a lot. ;)

Funny Farmer said...

SO DO I! But I bet you never garden and you know i never surf. Same result though. LOL

Shall I resort to blatant public threats that could land me in jail? Get. On. Now.

Funny Farmer said...

Why would it be impossible for kids from Utah to get in? I think you're just saying that to make her want to come to Hawaii! You just want to get my darling innocent child in your clutches and corrupt her, don't you!?! You'll turn her against me, I just know it!!

No! I don't want to take my medicine now! Get away from me with that needle!! Heeeeeellllp!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hee hee Lisa. Do I know my psychological warfare or what?!