OMGosh, I can't believe I'm just about to break my own first commandment on politics, religion and Twlight: Thou shalt never reveal an actual opinion or take a stand. Thou shalt ONLY wallow in words meant to mystify.
Vague, ambiguous, enigmatic puzzles. That's my policy.
But I'm about to become a hypocrite and most likely Kristina P. and Mariko will never read me again. Yet here I go anyway . . .
I saw this movie as a Twilight virgin. (And a prudish virgin at that.)
You could say I took the Annie Valentine Stupid Twilight t-shirt approach.
I didn't know what to expect, but I didn't expect to expect the unexpected. Youngblood4ever told me I should go with some goofy friends, but I have no goofy friends so I took my goofy husband.
I had only read one single review, which said the movie was like a taco-burp: the humor came up at all the wrong times. I had nothing more to go on since I had never read the book myself. My daughter did though, in one sitting, then thumbed her nose at it and burned it for a school project.
NOW I FINALLY understand why my daughter burned it. In psychology they call it repression. She has not yet embraced her own inner desires to be fully captivated by a smokin' hot holy--not to mention 100% attentive--vampire.
But not me. I embraced that inner desire as soon as Edward said, "Bella, you stink."
(Bring it ON, Bat Boy!)
As long as he's a good/bad little vampire. Or a bad/good little vampire. Either one works for me.
And as long as he says things like, "I feel very protective of you" and "You don't know how long I have waited for you" while he's electrifying me with one eye and terrifying the town bullies with the other eye.
WHEW! That Edward knows how to make eye contact.
SIGH . . .
Okay, so I'm a bit over critical-ish/over analytical-ish by nature. And by nurture. I've been disappointed a time or two so I feign indifference. But underneath it all I'm just a disillusioned hopeful romantic.
I think Edward totally knew that. (DUH, he can read minds. But seriously, why couldn't he read Bella's mind? Every girl in the audience could read Bella's mind.)
I just have a few statements, disguised as questions:
What is more compelling than a tortured vampire who listens to Debussy, plays the piano and has matriculated at least 100 times . . . plus wants to suck your blood so bad he can taste it? (BONUS!) Yet abstains! (Like every good/bad little vampire should.)
And what's not to love about a vampire family who transcends their own nature? (NICE WORK Stephanie Meyer!)
This movie was soooooo West Side Story meets Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon meets Field of Dreams!
My favorite scene (besides the super hottest kiss on the neck in the history of the world) was the baseball game. Like I always say, vampires who play together, stay together. I'm very certain the Cullen's have a Family Vampire Proclamation framed in the Batmobile. Raise your hand if you think so too.
Overall, I quite liked it. I mean, I quite LOVED it and I want to marry it. Even my goofy husband wants to marry it, so we're good.
I know it's not real or even real-istic or even close to real-ity. But who cares! Reality sucks too! (and bites!)
And you know what? I am so happy I liked it. You don't know how long I've wanted to be part of the Mormon Mommy club.