Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Wait! One more post before we make history

Aloha my fellow Americans,

Election day is drawing to a close and I feel the need to write one last post under the Bush administration.  

The thing I will miss the most about George W. is his lovely wife, Laura.  And also his many appearances on David Letterman's Great Presidential Speeches. No one says blooper quite like W.

I can't believe tonight's the night we make history.  I'm already missing all the phone calls from the candidates. I know their voices are just recorded, but it still gives me a charge. I think American Idol contestants should take a lesson from this election. I totally would have voted for Bo Bice if he had made the effort to call.

My husband and I got up early so our vote would actually count this year. It's such a spoiler to find out who the winner is before we get our hands on a ballot.

So I put on my favorite Tamner t-shirt to go the polls, the one my 10 year old gasps at and says "are you sure that blessed lady is a Mormon?" (Shelle, you should pick that one too so we can be twinners).

Just kidding. I would never wear my LOLOMGWTFLDSBBQ shirt to the polls.

When we got to the polls we realized we weren't even registered! Oops. I forgot to send those little yellow postcards back.

Just kidding, we were registered.

But I did forget to bring my driver's license. I could only find my library card, but just as I was going to give up my right to vote, the lady said, "ah, go ahead, your vote doesn't count anyway."

Just kidding. I did bring my driver's license. And of course my vote counts. sortof.

Don't you think they should get new voting booths though because those red, white and blue striped curtains don't close all the way and I kept looking over my shoulder to see if anyone was spying on me.

I'm not going to tell you who I voted for, but I didn't vote for racism or sexism or ageism or socialism or maverickism or mormonism. I almost voted for Palinism because I love watching her husbad, Todd, stand behind her while she speaks because he has that sexy LOLOMGWTF-deer-in-the-head-lights grin.

Okay, I'll tell you who I voted for: Cynthia McKinnley and Rose Clemente. I didn't even know two women were running on the same ticket, but when I saw that I figured since it's going to be a historic day for minorities anyway, might as well double-the-history. Hopefully one of those women is a minority.

Just kidding, I wouldn't vote for 2 minorities.

(Hi, Lisa! Am I wearing you out yet?  I'm trying to see if I can really drive that girl to the funny farm where she belongs.)

For those of you living in Hawaii, I voted yes to lowering the age limit to 16 for governors. (I'm hoping Jasmine Trias will run.) I also voted yes to Con Con because I figure two cons make a pro.

Just kidding. I didn't even vote. 

But remember yesterday when I told you not to vote for someone who makes you laugh or makes you cry or makes you cringe or makes you cupcakes?  Well I take that back.  Because today my Ovaltine story is in a contest over at Shelle Blokthoughts.  If that story made you laugh or cry or cringe go vote for it, okay.  PLEASE!  It's the only totally true story I've ever told.

Just kidding, everything I say is true

(Hey, guess what I'm doing right now?  Watching Everybody Loves Raymond in Spanish.  Debra's not even funny in Spanish.)  


Kristina P. said...

I hope you voted for a fellow Hawaiiiiiin, and voted for Dog the Bounty Hunter.


*MARY* said...

That show isn't funny in any language. Except maybe sign language.

Alyson (New England Living) said...

Holy cow, you've worn me out! I'm all turned around. I don't know which side is up. AHH! But I loved it anyway!

haha - verifer says "pligrum". It's a subtle reminder that Thanksgiving is just around the corner.

Funny Farmer said...

I realize that you are an English Teacher and not a PolySci expert and so I will forgive you for not knowing that even though we are voting for a new president today, the Bush administration will run through January 20, 2009. Since that is when the President-Elect will be Inaugurated.

But pedantic me just wanted to point that tiny little factoid out.

And I agree, ELR a stupid show. On several levels.

Alyson (New England Living) said...

Ok, I officially cast my ballot for you. Does that mean I'm off the hook for having to go wait in line to vote for president?

Melissa Bastow said...

First of all, how do I get my hands on a copy of Everybody Loves Raymond in Spanish? Is Robert's voice totally ridiculous? And I bet Marie is even more obnoxious in a different language.

Also I'm really glad you voted. Atleast I think you voted. Did you vote?

Library card?


Shawna said...

Hi there, I stalk your blog every now and then.

Just wanted to tell you that you had me ROTFL with your maverickim comment! I'm still laughing as I type...too funny!

Emily Anne Leyland ( Art-n-Sewl) said...

Hahaha- come on..Who'd you vote for. j\k you don't have to tell us.

*dingular* ????????hehehe

Pat said...

Thanks for making me smile today, I totally needed it.

Hey Shawna, look below you. It's me. If this was the beginning of the brady bunch, maybe you would be Marcia and I would be Jan. Something like that anyway.

Debbie said...

You had your funny hat on when you wrote this one. An excellent laugh on election day.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

We've made history and voted our first Black President in...and us and Canada will unite as ONE big powerhouse...


who voted?

Where's your library card? You can use mine since we look so much alike!

I totally went and stalked Alyson's blog...because I hate her feeling third party out!

And EVERYONE go vote for Crash...because I got the I'm OFF Diet Coke shirt...because i think it's funny!


Wendyburd1 said...

I voted at 6:30 am, so I had my sticker ALL day, LOL

Jen said...

In Washington we don't get to "go vote" (it's all absentee) so I don't get a sticker. Isn't that a rip?

I may not even vote next time - it's totally not worth it without the sticker.

If I go vote for you will Shelle give me a sticker? Just curious...

LisAway said...

Oh sheesh. What a roller coaster ride you are to read. I just LOVE roller coasters.

I'm off to read your Ovaltine story, because I'm not dizzy enough yet.

Melanie J said...

I always think of at least five different things to say in reponse to your posts but then I always forget them by the time I get to the end and then I'm left with nothing to say.

Oh, wait! I remembered! This reminded me of the SNL sketch with the "just kidding" lady, only about a million times funnier.