Wait! One more post before we make history

Aloha my fellow Americans,

Election day is drawing to a close and I feel the need to write one last post under the Bush administration.  

The thing I will miss the most about George W. is his lovely wife, Laura.  And also his many appearances on David Letterman's Great Presidential Speeches. No one says blooper quite like W.

I can't believe tonight's the night we make history.  I'm already missing all the phone calls from the candidates. I know their voices are just recorded, but it still gives me a charge. I think American Idol contestants should take a lesson from this election. I totally would have voted for Bo Bice if he had made the effort to call.

My husband and I got up early so our vote would actually count this year. It's such a spoiler to find out who the winner is before we get our hands on a ballot.

So I put on my favorite Tamner t-shirt to go the polls, the one my 10 year old gasps at and says "are you sure that blessed lady is a Mormon?" (Shelle, you should pick that one too so we can be twinners).

Just kidding. I would never wear my LOLOMGWTFLDSBBQ shirt to the polls.

When we got to the polls we realized we weren't even registered! Oops. I forgot to send those little yellow postcards back.

Just kidding, we were registered.

But I did forget to bring my driver's license. I could only find my library card, but just as I was going to give up my right to vote, the lady said, "ah, go ahead, your vote doesn't count anyway."

Just kidding. I did bring my driver's license. And of course my vote counts. sortof.

Don't you think they should get new voting booths though because those red, white and blue striped curtains don't close all the way and I kept looking over my shoulder to see if anyone was spying on me.

I'm not going to tell you who I voted for, but I didn't vote for racism or sexism or ageism or socialism or maverickism or mormonism. I almost voted for Palinism because I love watching her husbad, Todd, stand behind her while she speaks because he has that sexy LOLOMGWTF-deer-in-the-head-lights grin.

Okay, I'll tell you who I voted for: Cynthia McKinnley and Rose Clemente. I didn't even know two women were running on the same ticket, but when I saw that I figured since it's going to be a historic day for minorities anyway, might as well double-the-history. Hopefully one of those women is a minority.

Just kidding, I wouldn't vote for 2 minorities.

(Hi, Lisa! Am I wearing you out yet?  I'm trying to see if I can really drive that girl to the funny farm where she belongs.)

For those of you living in Hawaii, I voted yes to lowering the age limit to 16 for governors. (I'm hoping Jasmine Trias will run.) I also voted yes to Con Con because I figure two cons make a pro.

Just kidding. I didn't even vote. 

But remember yesterday when I told you not to vote for someone who makes you laugh or makes you cry or makes you cringe or makes you cupcakes?  Well I take that back.  Because today my Ovaltine story is in a contest over at Shelle Blokthoughts.  If that story made you laugh or cry or cringe go vote for it, okay.  PLEASE!  It's the only totally true story I've ever told.

Just kidding, everything I say is true. 

(Hey, guess what I'm doing right now?  Watching Everybody Loves Raymond in Spanish.  Debra's not even funny in Spanish.)