Raise your hand if you think blogging is like Relief Society

I think I owe you and the whole Mormon mommy blogging community an apology for comparing blogging to an illegal, addictive substance.  I probably should have compared it to a legal, non-addictive substance like oatmeal--something that's kinda mushy but ultimately good for you, or fishing--something that can feed a (wo)man for a life time once someone teaches her how to do it. 

So, let me go ahead and rephrase that:

Raise your hand if you think blogging is like Relief Society?

Blogging really is like Relief Society because the more people you give a calling to, the more people feel obligated to come to your blog on Sundays.

Am I right? Or am I right?

 

No women are as resourceful and Kreativ as Mormon women when it comes to Glindanomics.

As sisters we prayerfully decide who we will give the Kick-A$$ blogger award to, (which is equal to the Sunday Greeter) and who we will give the Comment Whore award to, (which is equal to the 3rd Sunday teacher) and who we will give the BFF Gold Card to (which is the R.S. President).  

Tagging is just like giving away the friendship basket, except we have so many friends we can just go ahead and count it as our visiting teaching.

(btw, sisters, have you completed your tagging this month?  There's less than a week left. Remember the message is 6 Kreativ things about yourself.)

All of this is to make everyone feel welcome and included , but really it boils down to numbers (or hits, if you're smoking pakalolo).  Let's be real.

What we really want is to get our percentages up.

And we're all trying to be just like the Stake Relief Society President (TAMN). And secretly we hope someday we might make eye contact with the General Relief Society President (Ree, the Pioneer Woman) so we can ask her what it was like going through Devil's Pass with the Martin Willy Handcart company and if the devil really lives there. 

If you don't mind, could I make a quick announcement before the practice hymn?

As the Sunday Greeter I've noticed two things we Mormon Mommy Bloggers protest too much about:

1. Being crazy ladies. Looney tunes. Coo coo for Coco Puffs.  Nutty Buddies, getting through our days from pack meeting to pack meeting one Xanax at a time. Riding the Hamster Wheel until they come to take us away to the Funny Farm.

It's just not true. We're all just bored silly.

2.) Being completely satisfied with our . . . well . . . for lack of a better word . . . fortune cookies. And some of us even pretend that our fortune cookies are oh so hot and spicey.

And that's just not true either. Come on girls. We're bored silly and we have no desire to get jiggy with it.   (And to the first person who tries to defend themselves in the comment box I say, the guilty taketh the truth to be hard.)

Personally I think those who talk about it don't do it and those who don't talk about it . . . don't do it either. 

It's okay to admit your life is a sham and that deep down you really just want to move to Chicago. 

I just have one challenge for you before the Comment Whore begins the lesson: let's all try a little bit harder this week to stop the insanity.   

And don't forget to call your coordinator when you've finished your tagging teaching.  

(That wasn't much better than the pakalolo comparison, was it?) 

(How about this one:  Raise your hand if you think blogging is like a pyramid scheme!)  

(Or am I just digging this hole deeper?)