My Super Hopeless Marriage

Since tomorrow (today for you) is the sabbath, and it's a special sabbath for me because it's Stake Conference, which means I get to sleep all day (YAY) and go to the movies all night (YAY) I thought it would be appropriate to tell you why I love the primary program so much. (Primary Program first, My Super Hopeless Marriage later).

But first . . . a word about me. I really like me. Me is very insightful. Me should be an English teacher because me told me that I have cringe charm and that's an oxymoron. Me is also a very obedient follower because as soon as I told everyone to follow the boring old boat guy, she did. I really like obedient followers. Honestly, I hope I can be as obedient as me someday. And I hope they call me on a mission too.

Amen.

(But why do you think me says I make her cringe? Do you think it was my comment about how if I were a pagany superstitious girl I would turn my own shirt sleeve up? She probably got offended because she knows it's unethical to interfere with superstitous rituals.)


And can I just say a word to Melanie who almost scolded me for breaking my promise to take the weekends off. First of all, if I ever made such a selfish promise I would definitely break it just as I break all my selfish promises. I'm totally committed to making you all cringe every single day for the rest of your/my life, unless I get hit by a car, in which case I've given Sewl my password and instructed her to publish the remaining 40 posts in my draft box after I'm gone.


I'm not like all those great bloggers who get paid to keep you in stitches every 3 or 4 days. The way I look at is this: Why get paid to keep your readers in stitches 4 days a week, when you can keep them in stitches 7 days a week for free!


Which makes me think about Sue and her Super Hopeless Romance pickle because she's going to become rich and famous in Provo for pretending to be a single woman in love with her best friend. I've been brainstorming to come up with a plan so I can get a piece of the pie. I am thinking of asking Sue if she'll let me write the sequel to Cordy and Seth's super hopeless romance. I would call it My Super Hopeless Marriage, or My Super Crazy, Boring, Lonely Hopeless Marriage. It would all be anonymous of course and no one would even have to know it's not Sue writing it.


If she says no, I might just go out on my own and instead of writing anonymous fiction I would write something real about someone real. Like Melanie. She wants to marry a stapler. I might write My Super Hopeless Stapler Romance. Now there's a hopeless romance! OUCH!


Okay, back to the primary program, my favorite favorite church day of the year, besides the day we had an earthquake and the power went out and church was cancelled and we had a pb&j potluck with the whole neighborhood.


I love the primary program because it always makes me incredibly giddy that I'm not the primary president. Sometimes you need to see what you don't have to be grateful for what you do have. I'll take the Relief Society President any day.


I also love that the bishop gets to sit with his family for once because Lisa's husband is a bishop and I bet she gets sick of watching him doze off on the stand for an hour in front of the whole ward.


I also love the primary program because my husband doesn't fall asleep since he's too busy chuckling at all the kids doing face plants when they step down from the pulpit.


I love it because is there anything funnier than kids in bow ties and suit coats grabbing the mike and saying "arrrahhgay oboooowiee!"


I also thinks it's so precious to hear the nursery kids singing "I Am a Child of Dog." I laugh, but inside I'm touched because I know how hard it is find your identity.


Mostly I just love watching all those cute little kids just being cute little kids. They don't even know they are so dang funny and that makes them even funnier. (But if I was the Primary President I would tell that little boy in the blue shirt on the front row to take it down a notch because he's a little pitchy.)


A word to all you moms and primary workers: RELAX! DON'T scold or scowl at or pinch your cute little funny kids when they pick their noses or run up and down the aisles or yell swear words in Sacrament meeting. I used to scold my kids too, but now that they just lay all over the benches and snore I realize I was way toooooooo uptight.


Hey, my husband just told me that we WILL be going to Stake Conference tomorrow so guess where I am right now? The movies. He took me to the movies. You think I'm blogging, but at this very moment I'm at the movies. (YAY)! (Sometimes it's a good idea to take off and leave your kids all alone for hours with a house full of candy!)


Anyway, I could have published this before I went to the movies, but I wanted to make Mariko stay up late and wait for it. hee hee!

P.S. I never read that super hopeless romance, btw. I knew it was a lie just from the title, cause in romance, just like in marriage, there's ALWAYS hope that your best friend might fall in love with you, (and vice versa).

Have you hugged your best friend today? Have you kissed your lover?

Look to it, friend.