Are you sitting down???

ALOHA EVERYONE! 

I'm back! I'm back!  I'm back!  

Did you miss me? 

Did you notice I was MIA?

I missed all my peeps so much!

Remember how I said the grass ain't always greener on the other side of the blizzard? And then I said that's it's greener, yes. And warmer, yes. 

Well, I forgot to mention that it's also darker.  At least it was darker on the night the lights went out in Hawaii.

No power for 24 hours! And still no internet. In fact I'm sitting in my car in a parking lot at BYU-H just so I can mooch off the Wi-FI. 

I probably shouldn't admit to that, huh? 

Does that make me look desperate?  

But 3 days without BlOGGING! That's just too long for one dummy to hold her breath, don't you think?

I have sooooooooo much to tell you, but I can't tell you all of it now while I'm sitting here in the parking lot. I need space and privacy to spill my black out stories.

But I DO HAVE ONE STORY I JUST HAVE TO SPILL!  

Watch out because it will make you green with envy and there's nothing I love more than making you green with envy!  Especially Mariko, my daughter's hoity toity English teacher, and Liz @ She's got fluid, and Colleen, my blog envy friend who just discovered my secret blog (thanks to big mouth Mariko). But now I'm so glad she discovered it because she is going to freakin' freak out when she reads this.  

Are you sitting down? Are you totally sitting down?

Three words . . . OH MY OBAMA SIGHTING! 

Or was that 4 words?

Yes, I saw him.  I saw the first freakin' black freakin' president of the freakin' YOUNITED states of America.  

Is it bad that I keep saying freakin?  I don't think my mom would approve.  

But who FREAKIN' cares!  I saw the first black president!  And even better, he was coming out of the bathroom.  

I mean, what are the odds?  I didn't even know black presidents went to the bathroom.  Did you?  Have you ever even thought about it?  

Neither have I.  

So, here's the scoop:

It was a beautiful, bright sunny morning.  We were at Turtle Bay, just about to walk up the sidewalk to the foyer, when SUDDENLY! a security guard stopped us and told us no one would be allowed to enter the hotel from the front for twenty minutes.  

As nature would have it, at that very moment Barack Obama SUDDENLY! decided he had to go to the bathroom.  

I didn't know any of this at the time because I was walking up the sidewalk minding my own business.  

SUDDENLY! a caravan of 50+ police cars and vans and security pulled up beside me.  And YES, out pops the man himself.  

Do you believe me, Funny Farmer?  Huh?  Huh?  Huh?  

If you don't believe me the proof is in the pudding.    

But WARNING: It's the worst pudding ever because when I get excited I lose all sensibility whatsoever.  By some stroke of outrageous bad luck, my camera battery was DEAD! Yes!  DEAD!  I had to pull the battery out and wack it upside the head in between shots.  I was able to wack enough juice into it to get 4 measly photos.  They're pretty awful, but they're pudding enough.  

He's the one in the white hat, and Michelle is the super hot first lady is the tank top.  Did you know first ladies wore tank tops?  

Me neither.

 

He's much thinner in person.  

Okay, so the story gets better. And worse! Way worse. 

I totally darted around the building and cruised through the back door while my husband and ILs were worried about the buffet. Who can think about food at a time like this, right?  That's what she said. 

So I cruise into the foyer just in time to see Obama sauntering into the bathroom. Seriously, he sauntered.  So I wait for him to come out. And while I'm waiting security totally pats me down with a metal detector. But they finish just in the nick of time for me to see Obama come out of the bathroom tucking his shirt in. 

I get my camera in ready aim fire position and BAM, nothing. I'm pushing down on the button thingie so hard. Over and over I push. I push. I push.

Nothing.  NADA!

Obama is walking closer and closer and closer.  

STILL NOTHING! 

He sees the struggle on my face and he stops. He turns and poses for me. He waves a cool cat wave. He tries to stall, but . . . NOTHING!

I'm 15 feet away from him and NOTHING! I can't get a shot off. 

By this time I'm sweating like a pig.

Finally, just as he ducks out of sight, the flash goes off.

I get my shot! 

Here's my shot!

Then I got this horrible shot of Michelle. She goes to the bathroom too, if you can believe that!


And here, my friends, is the bathroom the first black president of the USA visited right before my very eyes.

You saw it here first.

I think you guys should start a fund to send me around the world to photograph famous people and naked people and bathrooms of famous naked people. 

That is totally my dream job.   

Who's in, raise your hand.

Okay, so I'm totally embarrassed right now because people I know are walking by my car and I'm sitting in here blogging my brains out like a junkie!  

TTFN