Friday, December 5, 2008

Has Your Home Had It's Break Today? (Here's your fix, Mariko!)

They say that home is where the heart is, and I believe it. 

But sometimes the heart is where the home is.

Every once in a while it's a good idea to turn our hearts to our possessions. That's why I'm such an advocate of personification--or ERIO (equal rights for inanimate objects.)

Houses are people too and they deserve a break sometimes. I say be nice to your house. Let it chill out. Let it breath, sleep in, lay around. 

Annual indulgence and sloth can be healthy.

So one of our family traditions during the holidays is: Don't bug the house between Thanksgiving and the Elementary School Christmas program.

During this period we let things go. Let things pile up. Let things get sticky and grimy and make sure everything is used until it's gone--milk, laundry soap, shampoo, the whole 9 yards.

Then on the eve of the Christmas program we pull out all the stops. Remove all clothing from the drawers. Use every plate in the house. Splatter and spill. Eat whip cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

But as soon as the Christmas program ends everyone comes home and grabs either the soft scrub or the vacuum or the broom or the mop, or the Barry Manilow CD. Then we punish the house by blasting Barry Manilow and we make the house repent of it's gluttony. 

Not unlike repentence, it's a painful procees. There is much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Children are crying and coakroaches are flying.

But when it's all over we stretch out together across our California King and watch It's a Wonderful Life.

Because truly it is a wonderful life. 

And nothing says it's a wonderful life like gluttony and personification and repentance and Jimmy Stewart and Barry Manilow (and Youngblood4ever).

Has your home had it's break today?


OldBoatGuy said...

We're supposed to keep our homes clean all the time????? Now you have ruined my day. I thought once a year, ehther it needed it or not. Hee Hee


CaJoh said...

When I read personification I was reminded of when I was dusting our shelves and realized that there are a lot of interesting stories that can be told by the house.

What tracks of Barry do you play that whip them into shape… I may consider it myself ;)

georgie said...

ahhhh so thats what i have been doing wrong

Emily Anne Leyland ( Art-n-Sewl) said...

lol...I am going to have a day just like that today. There is sure to be much gnashing of teeth from my offspring. CANT' WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crazy Lady said...

Well, lets just say that this holiday season my house is WELL rested. I am so glad to know that I am doing it a favor. Too bad just playing the Barry Manilow alone won't do the trick.

Dude! My word is "lombi". Sort of like a lazy zombie. I swear this thing is like a crystal ball!

Susan said...

My home always has its breaks. More importantly, I'm so glad you are a real person.

The Wixom Zoo said...

I think we do the reverse at our house. We let the house have it's "break" pretty much all year round. It's during the holidays that we make it shape up... any ideas on how to reverse this before it's too late???

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

I did NOT enjoy the hurt...deep hurt.

Okay, not really.

but how long must I be shunned...because you haven't made a comment since the LAST comment you made and the silent treatment makes me paranoid!

Also...remind me not to visit you until AFTER the Elementary Christmas and cockroaches are not friends...EVEN though people use to call me ROACH as a nickname?


Shorthand for Completely love your CHUM...which in Antartican...CHUM=TWIN...

UNCONDITIONAL love...that's all I'm saying!

Kristina P. said...

Well, unfortunately, my house has to look all pretty and charming tomorrow, for a cookie exchange, so she doesn't get to rest. I will make sure that I take a nap today, since I took a day off of work to help get the house ready. And to make delicious cookies.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hi Everyone, especially Shelle, my twin, who I spanked, but only in fun, cause I never spank it not fun. If I had been really mad at you I would have piped Barry Manilow into your comment box. ;)

I LOVED YOUR UNTRUE post about me. I felt like Brittany Spears. Suspicious publicity is better than no publicity at all. And I got 4 new followers and a new friend to IM with in your comment box.

PLUS, I was impressed with your epiphany about how I operate, even though it's a one-man operation. You did crack my code. That's why you're my favorite twin, that I'm NOT giving the silent treatment to. I'm just UBER busy as poooh (eww, HATE that word, but I'm quoting my daughter) That's the real reason I give my house a break. I really don't believe in personification and equal rights for houses, except in CaJoh's case. That is soooooo true and profound. REALLY CaJoh! WELCOME! I can't wait for more deep thoughts.

No pressure though.

LY SHELLE! And all of you!

Have a nice day!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cause I'm going shopping.

Good luck with those cookies Kristina P. I can't believe you like cookies, but not Edward. Cookies are sweeter and cheesier and not at stinkin' hot!

Melanie J said...

Yeah, I'm kind of with OBG. I thought cleaning was supposed to be a once a year thing. I need to go rethink my worldview...

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Glad you Christmas program is over and the you got your house back. I didn't even have a Christmas program, so I wonder what my excuse is for my house having a break for the last six months. Oh a critically ill son, that might be it. I love your quote on your side bar about well I can't think of it exactly right now, but I know it makes me feel better that I don't have a spotless house.

my word is confamp, sounds kind of like some hill billy word.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

I need to push follow button.

Heidi Ashworth said...

That's how we roll around here, too, however unintentionally. Not, HOWEVER, unintentionally--however unintentionally, meaning, not sure how intentional or not it actually is. (there really should be better puncutation for that particular phrase) At any rate, thanks for the official blessing.
autwifi: wifi for the autistic? Just plain cruel . . .

Youngblood4ever said...

And yet again, I totally love you. Ummm, I think I let my house be gluttonous all year round. Is that a bad thing? Maybe I'll have the hubby read this and then he will see that I am just trying to help the house with its own salvation. Am I right? By the way- in my house it is usually Neil Diamond. Not that you care, but he rocks in his shiny clothes.

April said...

If you play Barry loud enough no gnashing of teeth can be heard....true story! But the wailing....that's another story! I have an extra set of earplugs I can spare.

Anjeny said...

I am glad to hear that all this time my house is on gluttony mode I've been doing IT a favor. So yeah now that the program is over and I need a place to put my tree up I'm gonna follow your advice from another post to "baptize" my house by soft scrub. Yep, I guess I should be expecting some teeth gnashing too from my-ever-growing-weed-of-offsprings. Actually to make it so I hear "how come he's not doing anything?", I will resurrect Elvis to do some jailhouse

Funny Farmer said...

My house is an unrepentant packrat: it is constantly collecting various miscellanea in the corners and on horizontal surfaces. Earlier this week, three rolls of wrapping paper and a plastic shopping bag appeared in the corner of the dining area, and there they still sit.

I think perhaps it feels naked if a non-traffic area is uncovered and bare. Yeah, that's it. My house isn't cluttered, it's just modest!

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

That's a great way to look at it, modest, yea that must be it.

I am LoW said...

In all seriousness, and you aren't going to believe this, but it's true fer real, but this year we gave our house that EXACT break. From Thanksgiving until today, my daughters Elem. Chorus concert, it was had a break. And for some reason I came home from her 2nd preformance today and was ready to get crackin' on the house (and the kids have wept, gnashed, etc).

Honest to goodness true story! :)

Now to read all your comments....

Word verification: stroakeg- probably what we would do after all the cleaning if we were alcohol drinkers. :)

Alyson (New England Living) said...

You are brilliant! I love that you personified your house. Then you made it repent. But wait a second...I thought you said it was ok to be slothful every once in awhile, so what was it knashing its teeth over and what did it need to repent of?

Shelle, you must be shunning me cause you haven't commented over at my place for awhile too. Am I being spanked? Is it a fun cousin spank? Ok, that just sounded weird.

Mariko said...

OMG. You totally erased my comment.
Well, this is what I said.
My house needs an appointment with the bishop.
ya gotta watch your rights around here, huh?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hee hee hee. I just came home from a huge long shopping spree. Can't wait to blog about it because you'll never believe what I spent $100 on that TOTALLY put me in the Christmas spirit. Strangest/dumbest thing ever!

I may not be able to tell you because my neighbors might let the cat out of the bag before Christmas.

It was super, I mean UBER, fun to come home and find all of you in my comment box. I laughed and laughed, especially at funny farmer, who has a modest house. hee hee hee. MODEST HOUSE! That's brilliant personification. I bet my house is way more "uptight" than yours. It refusing to "put out" if you get my drift. I'm always telling it to show a little leg once in a while, maybe some cleavage, but NOOOOOOO!

Such a prude.

Lo, wow, same page. We are soul sistas from the 70's. Actually, I'm from the 60's. And I'm not as stinkin' hot as you, or as spirited about groundhog day and columbus day. But Alyson, thanks for calling me adorable on Facebook and then telling me you hate me.

Mariko, I didn't erase your comment, I promise. Did you post it last night? Did you get your fix before you went to bed because I tried to hurry, but you were totally rushing me. Hey, I almost came to your 1st period class this morning to drop something off for my daughter. I was all excited. I was going to rush in and give you a hug and check to see if you were wearing the Twilight shirt. But I couldn't remember which classroom and did you know security would have to escort me there? So I said FO'get it and I let the school do my deliveries. I hope they gave you a hug for me.

Happy Friday everyone! Thanks for the smiles.

I'm going to go put up the Christmas tree now.


The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh, and Mariko, that is hee-larious that your house has to make an appt. with the Bishop. ROTFLOL!!

Alyson (New England Living) said...

That's how I roll, baby.

I am LoW said...

Oh Crash, I saw your pictures too, and you are WAY more stinkin' hot that me!! In ALLL your pictures. There is a reason I only have one. One blurry one. :)

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh Lo, silly goose! I photoshop all my photos. And you are uber beautiful!

My verifier says wordro.

It's touching that my verifier knows me so well. I only regret that it doesn't say wordpro because then I could make $$$ off of all these words.

Mariko said...

What? I missed a visit from a VIP? It's because you look like a crazy stalker lady, right? Security lets everyone and their mothers by in the morning. I've had hostile parents in my room more than once!
I'm wearing the shirt right now, while I clean so A) no one will ask me about a book I've never read and B) no one will see all my fat ripples.

Kritta22 said...

I'm with Oldboat...who said the house was suppose to be clean?
My house is like 5 year old little boy, who just got done eating Oreo's outside in the mud. It takes an act of congress to clean that bad boy up. So i don't and I think he likes it.
How do you tell if your house is a boy or girl?

Please tell us about your present. I love hearing about people spending money!!

Word V: chotory = sneeze midway through saying "V for ....tory!"