Monday, December 1, 2008

OKAY! I'll put you out of your misery . . .

I'll turn off the crooning Andy Williams.  But only because I'm going to post something reverent on my sister site.

(But ftr, it IS the most wonderful time of the year!)

So go ahead.  Have at it.  Read my post for the day.  In peace and quiet.

Have you ever had one of those days when you just want to suck the marrow out of life, but it's the sabbath (and you only have $13.94 in your wallet).

So you decide to suck the marrow out of a good book, but once you start sucking you realize that maybe your son is right.  Books talk too much.  

So you decide to settle for sucking the marrrow out of a Jamba Juice, but the closest one is 45 minutes away and you have to make 8 slide shows, grade 20 research papers and bake 56 chocolate cookies by Wednesday (plus it's the sabbath).

So then you figure you can either blog your brains out or grab a bendy straw and suck the marrow out of the cookie dough.

Is it bad that I would rather suck cookie dough through a straw than blog my brains out?

btw, fyi, ffr, jic, tmi: Today I realized that leftover Turkey is a lot like Old Navy Shoes--if I have to look upon it one more time I think I'll puke my guts out! (Especially after all that cookie dough.)

p.s. fye, here's a whimsical story to end on: I went visiting teaching tonight (because the last day of the month is my favorite day of the month) and we started talking about blogs. My v.t. sista said "Someone I don't even know made a comment on my family blog. How crazy is that?"

I said, "Is his name David Santos?"

And she said "YES!"

Sheesh! That David Santos gets around!

I said, "Did he tell you to have a nice day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?"

And she said, "YES!"

I've never seen a spammer so full of good will towards man. He should get the sportsmanship spammer award.

But how did he get past my word verifer? I think my verifier would rather be a fortune teller than a security guard. 

Either that or David Santos is a real smooth talker.


Alyson (New England Living) said...

I love you and all your silliness! I love coming over here for a good laugh.

I'm thinking that I've had a comment by Santos, but I'm not sure. I'll have to go back and check the archives.

I have a friend at church recently who was horrified that a stranger made a comment and then she went private. I wonder what kind of a freak she'd think I am if she knew that I actively court comments from strangers. Of course, I didn't tell her about my stranger-friendly ways! She might think I'm a pervert and then spread it around the ward!

Anonymous said...

I feel so uncool. David Santos has never commented on my blog. (I did once have someone ask for a presidential vote. I left the comment there because 1 spam comment is better than no comments at all. (I finally did delete it.))

And, ftr, I had to ask my 17 year old what ffr and jic meant.

Still, I hope you have a nice day!!!!!! (And I mean that in a non-spammy sort of way.)

Heidi Ashworth said...

Hey, what's Christmas without Andy and his one great song? And, apparently, what's a blog without a comment from David Santos? (Probably a great big flop--boo hoo) Do you think David Santos is Really David SANTA? If so, I'm in big trouble. I had better seriously mend my blogging ways or there's nothing but coal in my stocking and spam in my inbox this year.

Funny Farmer said...

I thought David Santos was Jami.


And a thousand mahalos for the peace and quiet.


Kristina P. said...

Who is this David Santos? And why is he shunning me?!?!?

OldBoatGuy said...

Who is David Santos????? And what has he got over OldBoatMan?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hey everyone, I'm sorry, but it seems that David Santos may be partial to depositing his exclamation marks in Hawaii only. Only Mariko and Swirl and Martha should feel bad for not getting their share of his good will toward man.

Let's all go to his blog and leave 1,000 exclamation marks by Christmas. Then we won't have to do our sub-for-Santa this year.

High Five Heidi! About the Andy Williams. (sticks tongue out at Lisa, the cranky farmer)

Old Boat Guy! Santos ain't got nothin' on you!

Alyson, I love you too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heidi Ashworth said...

Crash, IF you are willing to do a zany Crash-style interview of moi for my book blog tour, please email me at (I don't know my pop server so I can't email you. If that doesn't make any sense, welcome to my world crisis.)

Emily Anne Leyland ( Art-n-Sewl) said...

One more night of turkey casserole and then we are done!!!! Whoohoo!!!

Melanie J said...

This is one of my favorite places to visit every day.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hey just thought I'd let you all know the verifier says duckie.

Not kidding.

This verifier is not going to scare a single spammer away with words like that.

Emily, I could probably squeeze one more casserole out the turkey too. I just don't know if I can stomach it. Last night I left the stuffing and gravy out on purpose so the ants could have a feast. They wouldn't even touch the stuffing with a 10 foot pole.


Susan said...

Ok, you are absolutely killing me with the Old Navy Shoe references still! Thank GOD I don't own any... I would feel TERRIBLE! (I hope their flip flps don't count!!)

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Susan, YAY. See how well public humiliation works as a deterent strategy.

Verifier says mocas. That means the flip flops aren't pukey. Just the hideos multi-colored moccasin meets my my grandma type.

Or it could mean I need to suck the marrow out of a coconut rum moca latte, RIGHT NOW.

Pat said...

Hey I kind of liked the song for the few seconds it took me to mute my laptop. Ever think of that Funny Farmer? :P

And I am glad you are reminding me that it is the most wonderful time of the year, because I thought that was September when the kids go back to school.

It is good to remember that it is wonderful, lest I forget.

Jen said...

I just love how I read your post, and go to make a comment, but by the time I get through reading all the comments I can no longer remember what the heck your post was actually about.

All I can remember is some vague idea of a Santa Clause named David, and how he sucked the marrow out of your Jamba Juice.

It means nothing to my addled brain.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Okay NO LIE...I had a teacher in 4th Grade named MR. Santos...I'm not kidding!!!

I found out later that his name was Steve? But maybe his middle name is David? or Dave?

I'm just happy that Dave is coming out of the Lurker's hard to take that first step!

maybe he wants to be in on the IN crowd ya know? Maybe he needs a family such as ours?

What is with everyone putting the word verifier back on their blogs anyway? I think you are starting a trend...


I'm such a Band Wagon jumper!

Mariko said...

Jen. Ditto.
All I remember is David Santos.

SANTOS! (I'm shaking my fist in the air.)

I do totally feel jilted. I will have a nice day with or without your good will. So THERE!
And all we're doing is encouraging him, because we're giving him so much attention. You're supposed to ignore him until he feels humble enough to partipate down here with the rest of us.

Youngblood4ever said...

Okay, so I have once again been MIA- but you have been busy at work and gave me much to chew on, swish around in my mouth and enjoy! Have you missed Me???? Um, I am just going to guess that your assumption is right that David Santos only visits you cool Hawaiian chicks, because I have yet to see his exclamation marks in my comments. And, I know that other than not living in Hawaii with you cool people, I am totally cool in so many other ways. I am trying to catch up (slowly) on my blogging, so check it out.

Verifier- pulszati, it a more painful form of palates.

OldBoatGuy said... this a waste of time, or is my waist tooooo big?

Just needed to remind youall that youall are crazy.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Thank you, OBG. We appreciate and need your regular reminders that we are crazy.

No one has claimed to be otherwise, so at least there's no false advertising. ;)