That's what SHE said!

Aloha everyone!  

First let me say how sorry I am to those of you who got stuck in the snow today.  My heart goes out to you.  If it's any consolation, I got stuck in the sand, which is just as bad for someone who's dreaming of a white Christmas. 

Not trying to downplay your plight.  Just sayin'  the grass ain't always greener on the other side of the blizzard.  I mean it's greener, yes.  And warmer, yes.  But greener and warmer has it's drawbacks too.    Can't think of any off the top of my head, but . . .  

I hope your day was as wonder-full as mine.  I wondered about many things today.   Like why AMC would have a John Wayne Western-a-thon on Christmas Day? Did they not know my IL's would pitch a tent in the living room and try to convert me to Louis Lamour?   

I also wondered why Rock Band would include the songs Eye of the Tiger and Hungry Like the Wolves in their collection.  Can I get an Amen people?  The next kid who sings either one of those songs in my house will see just what the eye of the tiger looks like!

I also wondered how I have been able to raise my children without my MIL's full time assistance.  Without her I wouldn't know when or how much or how little my children are shoving into their mouths.  I had no idea my son could consume so much pie.  And I had no idea my other son could pull off such an amazing chipmunk impersonation when he chews.  How will I keep track of it by myself when she's gone?

Speaking of my IL's, The Office was on again tonight.  We told them they could watch their westerns if we could watch The Office. It was the episode where Michael goes on a business trip to Kanada. 

At first it was super fun laughing myself silly every time my MIL would say, "I think he's dumb" and my FIL would say, "I think they're all dumb."  

And at first it was cute when my FIL said Michael yabbers too much and my MIL called Dwight rude because he interrupted Jim and Pam while they were kissing in the parking lot to ask Pam to make copies.

But then my MIL said, "you'd think Michael would do something with his nose."

That's what she said.

Poor Michael, he was already having a sucky--his word, not mine--time in Kanada even without my MIL saying that about his nose.  She didn't even say "bless his heart" afterwards.   And then she called him crazy for calling Toby a jerky jerk face and for singing Oh My Do Da Day.  

And then she said OH MY GAD (in a disdainful way) so many times that I broke one of the commandments and I raised my voice at her and said, "He's SUPPPPPPOSSSSED to be crazy and DUMB!!!!!"  

Then she raised her voice back at me and said, "HE IS DUMB!  And besides your sons eat too much pie and too quickly, for that matter!"  (But she wasn't breaking any commandments because Moses forgot to add the one about honoring your DIL.)

Then, so help me Gad, I hauled off and . . . took a deep breath . . . and counted to 10 forwards and backwards . . . and sang Reverently Quietly backwards and forwards . . . and inhaled spray whipped cream in ginormous amounts.

And thank goodness too because I was this close to saying, "WELL YOU FALL ASLEEP DURING THE WEATHER!"

By that time the Christmas Spirit had departed thence and the evening came to a close with my MIL saying "And you guys really like this, huh?" and  "You watch this every Thursday, huh?" 

That's what she said.

But it IS a good idea to confirm things if you have any questions about them.  I agree that clarification is an essential form of communication, (not to mention humiliation.)   

If I hadn't had that spray whipped cream bottle in my mouth,  I would have clarified a few things myself. 

Like, "so you guys are really staying with us for 28 more days, huh?"