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Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Dead or Alive?

Today one of our favorite people is having a birthday!  Her name is Kristina with a P.  

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Kristina P.  We all pitched in and got you a new Snuggi. And a Sham Wow! And a Tim Tam Slam with a side of SPAM! 

Everyone go light a candle and leave it in Kristina P's comment box because she is the world's greatest blogger.  I lub her with all my stone cold heart.   

And, since it's her birthday, I'm gonna lub her with all my Cold Stone heart too.  

And just so you know, tomorrow is my birthday too.  

But you don't have to get me a gift (unless you want too).  All I really want for my birthday is world peace. 

My hub and I already celebrated.  He took me on a date.  I wanted to see The Soloist and he wanted to see Star Trek.

Since it was my date night I said, "well, I'm not much of a Trekie." And he said, "Well you're not much of a soloist either."

He had me there. 

Would you like to hear my review of Star Trek?  Do you have anything better to do?  Well, okay then. 

Star Trek is about emotional compromise. In space. At uber warp speed.

It's emotion meets reason. Fire meets ice. The past meets the future--meets the past. In a black hole. Full of red matter.

It's the tragical meets the comical. While hurtling through a worm hole. Boldy. Where no worm has gone before.

It's Trek meets Shrek (minus the awesome soundtrack and Eddie Murphy acting like a Jack-behind). 

It's Kirk meets Spock. 

It's Spock meets Spock.

It's what-the-helk-is-happening meets who-the-helk-cares (because Captain Kirk is smokin' hot (before he got all bloated and became the spokesperson for Priceline.com)).

He could almost pass for a smokin' hot vampire, don't you think?

(He's not this creepy in the movie, btw).

On the way home, while my hub was explaining all the quantum physics of the movie to me, I said "It's too bad William Shatner is dead."

"William Shatner's NOT DEAD!" he said.

"Yes he is!" I insisted. "He died like a year ago. I distinctly remember it because I wasn't sad at all."

"You wanna bet?" My hub said.

"I don't bet." I told him. 

"Oh, so you'll bet that Tatum is tired and you'll bet that the twins will catch roosters, and you'll bet that I will give a motivational speech in my van down by the river, but you won't put your money were your mouth is when it come to William Shatner?" 

He got me again.  So I bet.

As soon as I got home I googled it and guess what?

He's ALIVE!!!!!!


There's nothing creepier than hoping someone's dead and finding out he's alive.

59 comments:

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Okay, I had no interest in ST until I saw that picture. Hmm, oh yeah I like hottie's (shh, don't tell my hubby).

And

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRISTINA P!!!

and firsties hehe

IWA said...

No wonder your such a Bully! your a taurus! Happy Early Bday! Hope your bday is full of it!

SO said...

Holy helk they totally ripped of Edwards pose in that picture! I'm calling the directors of Twilight right now! Off to wish Kristina a Happy Birthday....Late.

Sandi said...

I will definitely go tell Kristina with a P Happy b.day in her own box, maybe your daughter could figure out her user name and password too and hijack her blog-that would be fun! I saw the soloist...was DYING to see it because it looked so good and then I was disappointed. The actors were amazing, the story was good, although very depressing, but it just didn't live up to that amazing trailer that I had seen. Dang I hate it when that happens. Poor William Shatner- having people think you are dead all the time must stink.

Barbaloot said...

So, for your birthday you husband picked the movie you went to see...? I wish you had seen the Soloist. I wanted your review of that:)

CaJoh said...

My wife and I have our "watch-list" where we wonder who's going to go this year. There's always some celebrity that you swear should be dead and you are surprised that they are still alive.

Kristina P. said...

I wondered how everyone knew it was my birthday! I didn't really want to tell everyone, since they would be jealous that I'm only turning 23.

Happy early birthday!! For your birthday, I will make you a SPAM and seaweed cake!

Funny Farmer said...

Hee Hee GREAT POST!

But what I wanna know is -- why did you go to the movie your husband wanted to see if you really wanted to see something else? Are you one of those people who does what the people around you want and then feels resentful?

If you are, then I understand you completely. No wonder we're BBFF's. We can go see the Soloist when you come in July. Phhhhhhbt on the Hubs!

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! (I didn't see this post until Tuesday, strangely. Not sure how that happened. But it was very sneaky of you to make it post the day AFTER your birthday. Come on, you know you did that on purpose.)

Homer and Queen said...

Great movie and his name should be Jack he is soooo hot!!! Wheelchair Boy has seen it twice now!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

OMGOSH, FUNNY FARMER. You catch me every time I mess up.

Here's the real story. I had a crazy busy day yesterday, but I had already written most of this post so right before bed I opened it and added Kristina's b-day wishes. Then my hub came upstairs grumpy grumpy so I pushed publish, rolled over and went to bed without checking or double checking like I usually do.

Sorry peeps, my bday is tomorrow.

I'll be back. gotta get the kids off to schol.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

How funny. I watch a special on the new movie and the actors did look pretty hot. Not sure if I will see it though.

Mary said...

You should check out http://www.theonion.com/content/video/trekkies_bash_new_star_trek_film

Way too funny.

sara said...

I've heard it's a pretty good movie, but unless it actually has William Shatner in it, I think I'll pass.
Happy Birthday Crash and Kristina!

Funny Farmer said...

Oh My Gosh MARY! THAT Onion spoof is HEELAIREEUS!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

I heart The Onion!

Oh and ya, Crash. Just cuz I'm not as ubiquitous as I used to be, doesn't mean I don't care. I will always be here to point out your mistakes, cuz that's what BBFF's are for! LY!

Heidi Ashworth said...

Bill Shatner is one of the most alive old people you'll ever hear a thing about. He's really quite phenomenal. Yes, I'm a fan (mostly of when he was pretty darn cute back in the day) but I also recently watched him on the bio channel. So, your birthday is on the 13th, huh? Jami will be very sad for you . .

Jillybean said...

Happy birthday to you tomorrow!!

When it's your husband's birthday, will you get to choose the movie?

Melanie J said...

I'm totally sending you a link to William Shatner's spoken word album. You will love it with all your whole heart. Maybe that will be your birthday gift.

Chowder said...

Omigosh, Star Trek had way many hot guys. It made me happy :)

Although I WOULD have liked William Shatner to be in it, I was bummed about that.

Smart Helm said...

Hey, I watched that movie for my Birthday too! I really enjoyed it but that's cuz I'm a trekie... plus a lady got carried out on a stretcher in the middle of the movie. Doesn't get much better than that.

May birthdays ROCK! Happy birthday to u!

Youngblood4ever said...

I'm a Trekkie- okay, I was when I was little and loved spending gobs of time with my Trekkie dad. I'll probably go see it, maybe even just to see the could-have-been-a-super-sexy-vampire actor play Kirk.

He's alive? Really??? How much did you have to put down on that loss?

wendy said...

I will go light a candle for Kristina ---and I'll smoke some drift wood for YOUR birthday (happy happy). Don't you watch Boston Legal (well it's done now) you would have known William Shatner wasn't dead --just metamorphasised into a dirty old man.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh Youngblood, you don't even know what I had to put down on the loss. It's unmentionable on this blog. But let me just say, it was a huge sacrifice, especially for someone having a birthday.

And for the record all you Treckies, the movie was two thumbs up. An excellent choice of entertainment.


Smart Helm, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Choweder, I'm trying to think of the other hot guys that made you happy. hmmmm. Spock was kinda cute. Kirk was definitely a HOTTIE. Who else? who else?

Melanie WHAT THE WHAT? William Shatner has a spoken word? Happy birthday to me!

Miss Heidi, you're on a nick name basis with Bill Shatner? Oh my!

I'm going to go watch that onion bash now.

And FUNNY FARMER, did you just say Ubiquitous? Oh my goodness, girl. I'm going to go look that up too.

Thanks for keeping me on the straight and narrow. I knew I could count on you. I was actually testing you to see if you were still around and paying attention. So relieved you are!!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

HA HA HA HA HA for Onion Bash.

And ha ha Wendy.

And Funny Farmer I just looked up ubiquitous. Why didn't you just say omnipresent?

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

I'm going to see that movie TONIGHT... I'm going SPECIFICALLY for the HOT Captain Kirk... YAY ME!!!

Happy Freaking Birthday girl!!! I need to send something your way... with all good intentions! :)

Funny Farmer said...

Omnipresent works, but Ubiquitous looks and sounds way cooler. But that's just my opinion (superior though it is).

What kind of English teacher are you that you had to look it up?! Sheesh. Your pedestal is getting shorter day by day.

:rallax: Almost as good as chillax. I said that to my 12 year old the other day. I think his estimation of me went way up.

Sandi said...

HA! Crash I just saw you over at Kasey's comment box..you are so funny prostituting yourself out. It is worth it to be my soul-mate though, trust me.
I have a tale to tell you about the errands I have sent my poor hubby on in order to bring you a prize as well. It's not looking too hopeful but feel free to send one to me!!!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

oooh shelle, I know you'll like it.

Funny Farmer, I never pretend to be anything but a dummy.

Sandi, oh your poor hub. I hope he doesn't hate me by the time I see him to give him your birthday present. I couldn't find any Tim Tam's in Laie so I bought you my absolute fav fav snack--Japanese rice crackers. Trust me, you'll lub them. They're uber nummy. When is the drop off?

Sandi said...

What does your tomorrow morning look like?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

I teach until 9:30. I could drive by Kute Kasey's dorm on my way home. Or I could drop by tonight.

I am LoW said...

Happy Birthday Crash!!!! :)

Sandi said...

I'm thinking tonight would be best..if that works for you- are you still here?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Yes, I'm here. Tell me when and I'll run over.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Sandi I'm running my kids up to basketball practice, but post a time and I'll meet Kute Kasey in front of her dorm.

Sandi said...

Grrr they are not answering me..

Sandi said...

p.s. I'm loving Jason Castro singing forever in blue jeans on your playlist..yay

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hee hee. Okay, I'll keep checking back.

DeNae said...

Well, I was going to apologize for the 'blog-to-blog' communication here, but goodness! You have entire relationships going on on your comments page! I call that efficient!

First, I can NOT wait to see both the Star Trek movie AND The Soloist. I am a trekker as well as a soloist (and a neurosurgeon, and an underwear model...) so I'm pretty sure I'll be able to TOTALLY relate to both.

Second, in answer to your questions re: Motherboard, no, she and I live in different states (she's in Utah, I'm in Las Vegas) but we met for lunch when I went to SLC for conference weekend. My sister Amber joined us (also a blogger) and cute Sherrie Shepherd, who IS MB's neighbor and even her VT companion.

We all hit it off so well that MB and I just started in like we'd been friends forever. I help her from time to time over at MMB, and we e-mail and phone and generally just enjoy the helk out of each other!

She's nice and smart and funny -- all the things I signed up for but apparently were backordered with the rest of my life. So instead I surround myself with people like that in the hopes that, when my real life is delivered, I'll already know the lingo.

I'm thinking that by the time you read this, it will be your birthday, so allow me to be the first to wish you a very Happy Day!

Hugs to you, Crash! I'm really enjoying getting to know you!

BTW, what subject do you teach?

Kritta22 said...

LOL I love Crash's comment box!!

Hi Crash!!

Kritta22 said...

Sorry I've been missing. I have had some quilting to do. I'll have a progress report for the Magic Quilt Monday.

Kritta22 said...

happy almost Birthday!

And Happy BDAY to Kristina P.

I heart you bunches!!

Kritta22 said...

We are going to see a movie this weekend cuz it's our anniversary of getting sealed and since my hubby was in Fairbanks for our real anniversary we are celebrating this one.

Kritta22 said...

Chris said, "WHAT???!!! We have to celebrate both anniversaries now??! I did not sign up for that."

I said, " Fine, I guess I won't wear something sexy."

Oh I take it back, I take it back!!..he says.

SO...

we are going to dinner and a movie.

Kritta22 said...

So since I just 'watched' Star Trek here, I think we might go see something else....what else is out?

I kinda wanna see Obsessed.

Kritta22 said...

Crash- did you make a new friend with DeNee??

That's so cute to see a relationship blossom.

Kritta22 said...

WV-bigboxas

I'm starting to pack and your WV knew that. LOVE IT!

Sandi said...

Are you still checking in? They just now called ( finally sheeeesh) and they are headed to the dorms right now. I told them to just sit there all night long if they have to...I hope you have time to go now :)

Kritta22 said...

so do you get to sleep in on your birthday? Anything special?? Dinner at Burger King??

Kritta22 said...

Sorry I'm LOL at my last comment...Burger King...I kill myself!! Giggle!!!!

Kritta22 said...

****waving at Sandi****

hi chica!

Kritta22 said...

K I'm going to go work on a quilt as soon as I post!

Happy Birthday in 3 hours Chica!

Sandi said...

*waving back at Kritta*

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Kritta HIIIII! I'm so happy to see you again.

I'll talk to you and DeNae later. Right now I'm going to run over and meet Sandi's Hub and give her some birthday goodies. Sandi, you'll love the card. And the gift bag. I want to make a puzzle out of the gift bag.

I'm on my way Sandi. American Idol is over. Whew!

Sandi said...

Kritta, if you see obsessed and don't laugh right out loud at the end fight scene I might have to smack you.

Sandi said...

I am just so darned jealous that my hub is going to meet Crash in just a minute....sooo not the way it is supposed to be! I hope she punches him on his sunburned belly for me!

Sandi said...

I hope he doesn't try to pull his smokin' hot vampire act on her :O

The Crash Test Dummy said...

hahahahahah Sandi. I don't think he tried to pull his smokin' hot vampire on me. At least he didn't try to sink his teeth into my neck. :)

OMGOSH! Thank you so much for the PIE!!!!! I WAS SO ExCITED! That's my favorite favorite. You are the BESTEST! I can't believe how much trouble your hub went through for you for me. And he wasn't even mad.

It was so fun to meet him. I will tell you the whole story!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

How cute that Sandi and Kritta are waving at each other in my comment box. Kritta, can't wait for the magic quilt report. So excited.

Happy Anniversary Kritta. Twice.

nevadanista said...

Oh man, don't you hate losing a bet to your husband?!?! It really sucketh! And THEN, and top of all that, William Shatner is still alive... I do really love his commercials though. Have you ever listened to any of his records? You should lookhim up on Rhapsody or Imeem.com.

I just actually turned him on. 'Music To Watch Space Girls By' is totally awesome!!! I'm listening to it on the 'Spaced Out - The Very Best of Leonard Nemoy & William Shatner' album.

Actually, I see there's a song called 'Hamlet' that I'm listeneing to right now. it's Amamzing!!! I might just have to send it to you for your birthday :)

Happy birthday to Kristina P!!! She's one of a kind!

Mariko said...

I loved Star Trek. I bet we were watching it at the same time.

Kristina P. Is Awesome. I am going over there to tell her so.