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Thursday, May 7, 2009

"I BET!"

Yesterday we pulled the kids out of school after lunch so we could make the one hour journey into town to watch my daughter play her first state tennis match.

If you wanna know what it's like to ride around in a beat-to-crap van-down-by-the-river all day with the dummy family try saying Unique New York over and over and over and over.

Go ahead, try it--double dog dare you.

Did it sound like this? New Yeek New York, New Yeek New, New Yeek, New York.

Or did it sound like this? U Neek U Nork, U Neek, U Nork, U Neek U Nork.

Either way, you're now officially a dummy! Congratulations.

So about my daughter's first state tennis match. She basically played a machine, but she got one game off her and she made the machine work for every point, so as parents go, we are proud as peacocks. She's only a baby freshman after all, and it's an honor just to have your baby freshman nominated.

After the match we went to Costco and ordered some pizza. My daughter said "I'm tired" and I said, "I bet."

Then she said "I KNEW you were going to say I bet. You ALWAYS say I bet after I say I'm tired. I don't know why I even bother telling you I'm tired because I already know you're going to say I bet."

Enlighten me peeps! Is there something more appropriate I should be saying? Like
I'm tired too so quit your whining!

I bet just sums it up so succinctly. It's so much more pointed than saying, NO DUH you're tired, and well you should be--it's an inevitible repurcussion of playing on the Freshman tennis team while simultaneously playing on two select soccer teams and qualifying for the National History Day competition. You deserve the world's longest nap, girlfriend.

So then she said, "I have a headache."

So I said "I BET!!!"

Only this time I bolded it and capitalized it and punctuated it thinking that might encapsulate what I really meant to say, which was of course, NO DUH, girlfriend! You deserve to have the world's largest headache because you just played THE MACHINE in the state tennis tournament.

She just rolled her eyes and said, "Mom, you have pizza in your teeth."

I should have elaborated.

I should have said,
NO DUH, I have pizza in my teeth! That's like saying, Mom, you have fillings in your teeth. It's an inevitable repurcussion of being old and dumb and eating at Costco.

But I didn't. Just as I wouldn't have elaborated if my oldest son had said, Mom, I need a massage, or if my twins had said, Mom, I'm going to chase roosters, or if my husband had said, Hon, I'm going to give a motivational speech to the kids.

I simply gave her the same response she would've given me had I said, I am so going to blog this!

I rolled my eyes and said, "I BET!!!"

39 comments:

T said...

I usually end up hearing a lot of U Neek U Dork from the backseat...

The Crash Test Dummy said...

ha ha ha How about, You Geek you Dork!

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Shucks, T beat me. Well glad to be beaten by someone I like. :)

Yes you gotta love teenagers and their ability to be bothered by the silliest things.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

You geek, he he he he

Amanda said...

You could say, "Me too!" Cause there is never a time I'm not tired and that response shuts up my husband. LOL

The Crash Test Dummy said...

ha ha But if I said ME TOO, that would mean I would have to chase roosters with my twins and give motivational speeches with my hub. (Come to think of it, who knows what else I'd have to do with him if I said ME TOO.) ;)

T said...

I was going to revel in my first-ness... but then the 'puter shut down on me...

U Geek... that's good... I think I'll just skip straight to U Geek, U Dork next time because I always do badly at those games!

Sandi said...

ahahahahahahahahahahaha I love your comment about doing who knows what with the hub....cracking me up here.
Teenagers are just plain old mean- I'm ready to give mine away.

Chowder said...

I feel so proud of myself that I didn't stop reading to try to say "Unique New York" until you double dog dared to. Because ususally I will stop everything I'm doing at that moment jsut to say something like that.

Oh, and are you going to room with Tatum at History Day?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hee hee, Sandi.

T, you have no idea how long it took me figure out what a 'puter is.

Chowder I'm so proud of you too. It's much more gratifying to wait to take a double dog dare than just blindly do what you're asked to do.

No, I'm going to room with my hub. He's tagging along to give the motivational speeches. I think Tatum is rooming with Terina.

I LOVE IT!

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

I BET! you did.

Why is that the wrong answer? Is it cause it's a teen thing? I don't have teens. I do however almost have my 7 yr old at the eye rolling stage. Mm hmmm, YOU BET I do! hehe

Your girl rocks btw. She should be very proud of her accomplishments!

val of the south said...

I need a new way to annoy my children, so I'm going to try "I bet"

I hate when my kids think I'm so predictable - even if I am!

Lara said...

I think that "I bet" is a perfectly respectable answer. She's just wanting you to change things up a bit.

How about these?

OBVIOUSLY.

Really? I hadn't noticed.

{No answer}

I also enjoyed your "NO DUH!"

Well then, I guess it's straight to bed with you when we get home.

She might just start missing the ever predictable, "I bet."

T said...

sorry, I sometimes forget the difference between acceptable bloggy slang/dummy slang/and my own personal weird slang :)

seriously... I grew up thinking "Quien Narise" meant "who knows" in Spanish because my Mom always said it... It means Who NOSE... ugh, thanks mom - I hard to work pretty hard in Spanish class to erase THAT first impression :)

Anjeny said...

Hey I like that...I am sooo gonna start using that on the kids....I BET....that sure will beat my "I know" much better.

Congratz to your daughter. So I rushed over here to see May Day pictures since I know you have way better quality photos than I do...where are they? LOL

The Wixom Zoo said...

My 9 year old is in the "it's not fair!" phase. I'd rather have a soccer playin', tennis match winnin', history day competin' daughter who's tired than a bratty 9 year old who thinks nothing's fair. Wanna switch??? (I'm serious, btw...)

Sandi said...

TAMN TEENAGERS

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Amen Sandi

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Ha ha TAMN teenagers indeed. And Wixom, I've got two of those It's-NOT-fair kidos. They're 10. It must take a while to grow out of it.

Anj, I'm working on the photos. They should be up sooooooon. (Whatever soooooooooooon means to a dummy).

IWA said...

My parents would always respond with Hi Tired... Or Hi Hungry.. or whatever we were complaining about... when we told my father that he couldn't say that anymore to us.. the next time we said Im tired... he said ... Nice to meet you.. Im dad! LOL!.... It never gets old to him and Im sure as he gets older and crazier it actually sounds sain to him!

I cant believe T is a freshman already! Too fast!

Mine was New Yeek U Nork!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Lara, I LOVE YOUR SUGGESTIONS! ha ha ha Especially the "Straight to bed" one. Although my daughter would probably be happy about that one.

Iwa, hahaha That is so much funnier knowing your mom and dad. hahahahah can't stop laughing.

Reminds me of when we used to tell my mom we needed a haircut. She always said "which hair would you like cut?" It was her favorite joke. She cracked herself up. Thought she was da bomb for thinking of it.

I'm going to have it engraved on her tombstone.

SO said...

You totally showed her!!

I'd probably say something like "No wonder!" or "I can see why...you totally just played your little hiney off" or "I'm sorry your tired" or "Is it a good tired or a bad tired?" or "Why?"

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh SO, look how you just put me to shame. You should teach parenting classes!

Martha said...

Ok, how does Chowder post a comment at 10 am? That means she's goofing around in class or skipping it. I'm at work and I'm not goofing around.

I was wishing I would've had a good excuse to go to the tourney, like maybe to watch Josh, but no. Well next year. Glad T did great. It was probably from hitting with Zach Y all the time.

I always think you guys are brave when you take your whole fam anywhere. I don't even wanna try to do that.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Ha ha Martha, I was going to say the same thing about Chowder.

And ha ha about hitting with Zach Y. You're such a stinker.

And Marha, if you don't take your whole family anywhere then you never get to say U York or New Yeek over and over and over and over. It's great family therapy.

DeNae said...

Well, I'm the meanest mom in the world for NOT saying what my daughter expects to hear, at least according to the apparently unscripted discussion we had last night. I wish I could say there's a win in your future, but I'm thinking that for the next few years, the best you can hope for is, like the proverbial room full of infinite monkeys and typewriters, you'll come up with the right words by sheer force of coincidence!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

DeNae you kill me. It's true. For now all I get is "YOU SEE Why I NEVER tell you anything!" I especially get that when I say "I'm so going to blog this.")

Sandi said...

Off topic - since when do they have Tim Tams in Hawaii? I thought they were an Australian thing?

April said...

I always answer with "I'm sorry", like it's my fault that they are tired, or it's my fault they've just chased chickens, or given motivational speeches in a van down by the river. No wonder I have issues with Scarlett O'Hara! shhhheeesh! hehehehe!!!

according to the wv...you are supposed to put your bra in the bin, I'm sorry.

Tiffany said...

hilarious!!!

Mariko said...

Bet is such a weird word.

Say "weird word" 10 x fast. I bet you can't.

Your fav student's friend just told me that u know who is ultra-confident that u know who will get into Harvard Law. Good thing you didn't fold on that B.

Jillybean said...

You could always say what I do.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE TIRED? YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHAT IT MEANS TO BE TIRED?
DO YOU REALIZE THAT WHEN YOU WERE A BABY YOU NEVER SLEPT? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW TIRED I GOT WHEN I NEVER SLEPT BECAUSE YOU KEPT ME AWAKE ALL. THE. TIME?"

That usually puts them in their place.

Or produces a bunch of eye rolls.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

ha ha Jillybean. True that!!!

Mariko, if yous ay weird word 10 X really fast you sound like a hummingbird. And hee hee hee about my fav student. Eyeball rolling right now.

April, that's probably the right answer actually. At least to keep her from thinking I'm a stupid stupid woman. ;)

Sandi, don't you know Hawaii is a mixed plate. We have assimilated all the food from the pacific cultures.

springrose said...

I hate it when I go to bed early and I miss out on all the fun blogging over here at crashes! I think Lauras answers were great! Next time my 5 year old complains about a headache I am going to use the off to bed with you then comment, we'll see how bad that headache is after all!

I am LoW said...

So?

That's what I always say. So?

:-D

Youngblood4ever said...

I actually did try to say Unique New York. I know I'm a dork.

At least you respond. I just yell. Or I say "Quit your whining." Okay, not really, but I guess my kids don't really know me well enough to be able to read my mind and anticipate what I am going to say. Although Hubby now can preempt me every time I say - "I am so blogging this."

Kritta22 said...

I say I'm so blogging about this in my head all the time!!

April said...

Good answer Crash! I'm impressed! ;)

dolly etta said...

Salam Walakum from the land of the desert sun!

Yes, it's true, I've totally been out of the dummy world lately. I sort of abandoned my blog interest for face book. But not just face book, actual face time with my family. We are all under one roof for a change and since that timer was set since the day I got here, I have been trying to make the most of it.

But Tristan reminded me today that we are back on a plane in 19 days, headed to Hawaii. So I am thinking, hey, what are my favorite peeps up to and I check in on you and now I find good stuff to read again. I love reading about Tatum because she is our 20 cow woman that Norm and I have been saving up for.

Around here they still do arranged marriages and the dowaries come in camels instead of cows. One camel is worth about 20 cows alone so talk it over with your hub and see if you have room in your villa for a camel? They are amazing traveling machines. I read where you are needing a new van down by the river. A camel can take you anywhere. Even to see the star in the east to visit the King so I'm sure it can get you around the island. ; )