At least that's how I remember it.
My mom remembers it as St. Mary's Medical Center, but I'm sure it was the Queen Mary because I don't have a religious bone in my body.
(You guys are totally questioning my testimony right now, aren't you?)
One thing my hub and I like to do to spice up our marriage is role play, and since it's my birthday I took on the role of Grumpty Dumpty and he took on the role of Grumplestiltskin.
Poor Grumplestiltskin is tired of paying attention to Grumpty Dumpty after Mother's Day and poor Grumpty Dumpty is tired of turning another year older and another year wiser because it means she's that much closer to morphing into that girl with the sweet spirit and the nice personality.
You all know the girl.
Oh, just JOSHIN' peeps! I'm not old! And I'm not wise! And my hub and I don't role play to spice up our marriage!
And anyway, I ain't throwing no pity pArTaY today! I can mope about my sweet spirit tomorrow.
So I thought of something you can give me for my birthday? Give me a mountain with nothin' to dew!
Get it? Nothin' to dew? Are you guys too young for that commercial?
Did you guys dew the math on my age yet? Get it? Dew the math! (cracking myself up here).
If you want to know how old I am in Mountain Dew years then watch these commercials.
Just dew it! (Double dog dare you.)
At least watch the first three. I'm older than the It'll Tickle Yore Innards and the Hello Sunshine ads.
I was raised on the Give Me a Dew ads.
Which I blame for my GIVE ME A DEW RIGHT NOW mentality.
Which reminds me of the cutest, cutest Mountain Dew story ever. You guys know Sandi, right? Kute Kasey's mom? Well Sandi lubs me so much she sent her hub out here to Hawaii to buy me some Code Red Mountain Dew for my birthday. The guy camps out on the beach in a tent for 7 days scouring the island in order to help me CTR (Chose the Red) on my birthday. He even signs up for a Costco membership. But guess what! Costco doesn't sell Code Red. No one on the island sells Code Red (except Foodland, which is right next to my house.) So get this, she tells him to buy me a Ted's Bakery Chocolate Haupia pie instead(MY FAVORITE).
That's tru lub.
I'm verklempt (which means choked with emotion in SNL).
And coincidentally I bought Sandi a Ted's Bakery Chocolate Haupia pie for her birthday too, (which is on Saturday) (but since it's impractical to send a pie on a plane, I ate it and bought her some Japanese rice crackers instead).
Is that like the most beautiful Gift-of-the-Magi story ever?
MAHALO Sandi and Sandi's hub.
Well, I gotsta go. (My hub is waiting to give me my 15, 330 birthday spankings so he can call out Who's your dummy? from his van down by the river.)
P.S. Don't dew drugs. peeps!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Four score and 15,330 days ago today, (you do the math) a dummy was born of goodly parents in Long Beach, California aboard the the Queen Mary.