Hey, I got my 1,000th hit today! I'm so excited! I'm doing the touchdown dance right now!
And because I'm so excited I've decided to give $1,000 away to the lovely person who hit me for the 1,000th time.
Hang on, let me check and see who the lovely lucky winner is . . .
Oh, never mind. It's me.
(HEY, I'm RICH! Wahoooo! Touchdown dance!)