Friday, January 23, 2009

I'm in Love

Well, I'm out of my coma. (No thanks to YOU guys.)

Seriously feeling like a stranger right now in my own land full of strangers. It's like MY comment box is morphing into YOUR chat room. Not that I mind, it's just that I see what you guys are doing--using me for my Code Red, my bean bag chairs, my pool table, then trying to brainwash me into rooting for the CARDINALS in the Superbowl.


Go Steelers!!!!!

BTW, I'm wearing my Steelers flannel P.J. pants right now and sticking my tongue out at you! (Take that.)

But anyway, I'm out of my coma.

And now I'm in love. (Praise be to Hamlet.)

I know! Who'da thought it could be so dangerous to read Shakespeare.

There's just nothing sexier than an uber complex guy (played by Mel Gibson) grappling with life's deepest, darkest questions as he loses his mind.

If he were a vampire, he'd be tamn near perfect.


He's just so real I want to kiss him.


How come all the real guys are . . . dead.

And what does it say about me that my life is one long string of super hopeless romances and one super happy marriage?

So anyway, it's good to be out of my coma and I think I'm adjusting to my IL's being gone, but I still don't feel like myself.

I'm engaging in uncharacteristic activities.

Like this morning . . . I went j.o.g.g.i.n.g. EW! And I drank water. And I did something I swore I would never ever do. I flossed my teeth.

Do you think something's wrong with me?

And I snuggled with my son who has strep throat.

If feels like just yesterday that when he asked me to snuggle with him I handed him $18 and said, "here snuggle with this."

And he did.

And it feels like just yesterday that I was making my kids go out and mow lawns and wash cars to earn their own money to do their own grocery shopping so they could make their own Root beer floats and Fritos for dinner.

But tonight I want to bring home the bacon and fried it up in a pan myself.


Plus I think I might be having Post Traumatic Stress from the ILs 42 day visit because last night when I watched The Office, I couldn't stop shaking my head and thinking,"Oh Gad" and "Oh Glory" and "This is just stupid!"


You know what I miss most about my MIL? Her sweet tooth. Every night I'd ask her if she wanted dessert and she would say "Yes, please. I'll take a tablespoon of ice cream and 4 chocolate covered raisins." How cute is that?

Gosh, I just wish I could poke her in the eye right now.


Well, gotsta go!

GO STEELERS, that is!

Ha! Gotcha!

P.S. I'm on my way to a Freakin' Funny Friday Carnival at Sue's. You guys want to come along and tease the freaks? I'll buy you some cotton candy.


JLPierce Ohana said...

Go Cards!

Commandment #8: Thou shalt not STEEL! I think that means no rooting for STEELERS either! jk

Kristina P. said...

Are you going to be a Sue carny and posst for Funny Friday?

And did you bring home the chocolate covered bacon? I'm so disappointed.

Barbaloot said...

Glad you're feeling better.
And I'm staying out of any and all football banter. But I've been to the cardinals stadium---so if I were forced, I still wouldn't cheer for either team.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

I just wanted to pop in at the FIRST of the comments...what we should do is assign a time that we are ALL on Twitter and then TWITTER away at each other...poking each others eyes and mocking each would be great fun!

I thought you had LUV Sacs not Bean I'm out...that is all I was using you for. My husband and I were making out in's just not the same when it's a bean bag... *sigh*

All right...I didn't even KNOW those were the two teams in the Super Bowl so that tells you were I'm at in my NFL...

But if you are all alone in the rooting for the steelers...I'll root for them also if you will give me $18 to put towards my OWN Bright blue SMURF snuggie to snuggle with!


and bye!

Anjeny said...


{Not a sports anything so if I'm gonna cheer for something, might as well be some stupid show my 2 yr. old is watching to drive me nuts.}

~pokes Crash in the eye~
take that!!

LOL. I figure eye poking is a great way to show the love here, no?

Glad you're out of ur coma cuz coma and dummy do not, I repeat, absolutely do NOT go together.

Ta ta!!

Heidi Ashworth said...

Hey, this freak takes exception to that! Not really. I have no pride. At least none of the good kind. So, do you always crash (no pun intended) like this after the IL's go? I'm sure I would. All that adrenaline flowing . . .one has to defend one's TV shows and that takes adrenaline . . ..and then the need for it is gone and all that dopamine comes crashing down to wash the adrenaline out of the system, what with it being bad for you and all. I'm sure you have earned the right to your rest and your down time and your outright insanity (what with the shocking lack of Office love you're displaying) And by the way, I don't think she's hot. Does that make me fat?

Kritta22 said...

So do you not want us to use you for your comment box, and bean bag chairs??

Yes, let's twitter together!

I am LoW said...

I thought the last time you off Mt Dew Code Red, we all declined?

I think YOU drank all the Code Red.

But whatever it takes, glad you are out of the coma! :-)

WV- tanati- stay away from the Tanati tonight, whatever you do!

I am LoW said...



Nutty Hamster Chick said...

I think comas are highly under rated. So I am only glad for you, if you are glad, because even in a coma you are still dang funny.

Kristina, I think you better step up your game because this is two out of the past three posts that you have missed first comment by that much.

April, how are you today? I haven't read you around, is everythink OK? Hope so.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hi friends,

Hee hee. Can I just say, it's so fun to see you.

First I need to get this out of the way once and for all!

GO STEELERS! Commandment or not!

hee hee and JL, thanks, I finally got that stealing reference for yesterday's comment box.

I'm training you guys too well. You're sharp as knives, the whole lot of you, and I gotta be careful not to get cut.

Kritta, you silly goose. Don't you know Friday is backwards day. If you didn't show up for our fire side chats I'd never come out of my coma. (Unless Hamlet showed up for out fireside chats. Or Jack Johnson.)

And I'd cry me a river if the muppet gallery didn't show up either.

Shelle, so happy to see you here so early. Here's your $18.

Anjeny, if you say Gabba Gabba one more time in my comment box I might explode. SERIOUSLY! HATE! THAT! SHOW!

Oh, LO, that's right. I forgot. I AM off Code Red.

And NHC. LY!!!! You always make me smile.

T said...

Did you just Dis last nights' Office?

and it's good to know that I wasn't the only one who wasn't aware of the two teams battling it out for SuperBowl Supremity -

WV says fully... fully what? Fully in love?

val of the south said...

My son just came home from school and told me he had a test on "freakinly misspelled words" I can't wait to see that list!!

the wv is liess - is that a female liar?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

T--BACKWARDS DAY! I laughed myself silly during The Office.

And Val, can I help your son study for his test?

nevadanista said...

I fell in love with Kenneth Branagh the moment he said that line

"Is it not strange that sheep's guts should hale souls out of men's bodies?"

I just LOOOOOOVE that scene! And then he goes and splashes in the fountain, he's so in love (as I remember it)

It really ticked me off bad when he and Emma Thompson broke up!!!!!

Kritta, I'm not related to anyone here either. BUT, one of Barbaloot's brothers used to be my neighbor, until they went and moved to FREAKIN' Utah about 18 months ago. Made me cry when they left :( His wife was my good friend. I've never met Barbaloot though.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

I love that scene too.

But I love Mel Gibson more. Sorry Nevada.

nevadanista said...

You'r' right, that is pretty sorry ;-)

My Diary said...

MIL really do have a lot to teach us don't they. And they never ever stop, isn't that so nice. If I did not have MIL I might actually think I knew something.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Nevada, agreed. ;) But I can't help it.

and OMGOSH! Who is this new person here. MY DIARY! hmmmm. My Diary, my foot!

Do you guys think that's my MIL in disguise? Doesn't it sound like something SHE might say?

Should I poke her in the eye and see if she says, "Oh my goo(d)ness. Oh my goo(d)ness."

Do you think she's like that Chuckie doll here to taunt me?

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

I don't know Crash...My Diary's picture is a WAY cute cartoon...and your MIL doesn't even know how to turn on the computer right?

And I agree with her...MY no, it's not your MIL! lol!

Jami said...

I like My Diary. I'm thinking she's Sue, just because the last time I spontaneously liked someone's blog A LOT it was Sue.

Glad you're feeling better Crash. Love is like that. I suppose if I'd used my calender yesterday I would've realized that it wasn't time for that comma yet. But my brain was a bit mushy.

If I remember Mel Gibson's Hamlet, I remember feeling a teensy bit uncomfortable with all that heavy breathing oedipal stuff with Glenn Close.

Jami said...

Take you up on the cotton candy. I'll take care of the popcorn.

sara said...

Glad you're out of your comma. At the risk of being shunned by the blogging world (Or at least those who read your comments) I'll jump on the Steelers bandwagon with you. I like black better than red anyway. It's more slimming.

Heidi Ashworth said...

Mel Gibson rocks. Esp. in Braveheart.

Melanie J said...

At first when I saw that you loved a Shakespeare man, I was afeared we would have to fight it out. But it turns out that everything's fine. You keep Hamlet and I'll take me some Benedict. And if we're talking film interpretations, my choice still stands but I'll take Kenneth Branagh's other confection of Henry V (post the Hal foolishness) and get two for the price of one.

Anjeny said...

Mel Gibson rocks in all of his movies.

Crash, I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesn't like that show.

So if I have to take sides on this NFL battle, I'll have to say I like birds better than metal.

But at the risk of getting kicked out on my hiney by my all time favorite dummy...I'll just keep my mouth shut and let you guys battle it out.

May the best blogger's team win. Go PEOPLE!!

nevadanista said...

Melanie J, oh no you di-in't! Sorry. I've already laid claim to Kenneth Branagh playing Benedick. He had me at sheep's guts.

Mariko said...

I was IN my classroom today, silly. I just had a sub to help me out. :)
Seriously, I was in an all day meeting, and I WAS in and out of my room all day, so I must have just missed you.
AND, I'm wearing your shirt right now.
AND we're about to go roast cheese filled hotdogs at clissolds (sp?) so you should just randomly show up and say you were in the neighborhood.
You went JOGGING? We should jog. I should jog at least. You don't need to. But you could come with me.

I am LoW said...

Crash! Oh my heavens! I forgot! You blogged about TAMN a bit ago and she showed up in your comment box and I totally said (commented) I was going to blog about Mel Gibson so he could show up in mine and I FORGOT!!!

robin said...

Crash I'm just glad you're okay after watching the nose stint video!!! You are soooo brave My husband STILL refuses to watch it and left the room when my 8 year old insisted he was tough enough to see it. He watched it with his head tilted down and was prepared to close his eyes but never did. And he's my most sensitive kid!!! kudos Sheriff!!! boo to my husband!!!

Sandi said...

this is random: I LOVE LOVE LOVE Mariko's makes me laugh every time I see it. Mariko you are CUTE.

Sandi said...

and p.s. I don't have a clue who Kenneth Branagh is....don't ban me forever!

Martha said...

Dang, I missed Office, but I can watch it online and I'm going to.

Hey Mariko, if Crash fixes the printer then I will never see Tatum because she's at soccer all day. Then she will not come over to have me print her stuff.

Also Mariko what can I do about the 10th grade honor English teacher that my son has? He thought 9th grade was hard. This lady is bananas. I'm hoping the school counselor will let him drop her. I knew this would happen. I knew it, and I told the counselor before school started and now my poor son has a terrible grade and his GPA is wrecked forever and he won't go to college and he'll be a garbage man.

Mariko said...

Thanks! I think it's probably the most flattering picture I've ever had. :) And I took it myself.

Martha: Sigh. I know. I always say, "you think I'm crazy? JUST WAIT!" No, she's not really that crazy. It's one of those things where you've been teaching so long you assume that the answers are totally obvious. He'll probably remember her forever, too. She is pretty legendary. And the kids, year after year, seem to remember the stuff they do in her class way better than most classes. There's some good stuff happening there.
Your son would never be a garbage man (not that it's not a noble and necessary profession). I'm picturing, "Graffiti artist". At least that's what he does in my room most lunch periods. KIDDING. (About the former, not the latter.) Grades aren't everything. I got into plenty of good schools on a pretty average or slightly less than average GPA. He's an amazing athlete, right? There's way more to a resume than English class. Pshaw. That's totally the bottom of the list. ;)
He should join debate. Lots of brownie points, if you know what I mean. He should stick it out. Build character. Grow chest hair (but not too much, hopefully). If we want to talk about typical college professors and eccentricities, he's getting all his practice in how to deal with that right now. Wheee!
You think she's crazy? JUST WAIT! I mean, Crash teaches college, right?

Kritta22 said...

Come comment on my post!

EVERYONE...stop right now...and come talk in my comment box.

I wanna be cool like Crash, just once. And it's a good topic.

(I found it while blog surfing)

PLEASE!!! I have good giveaways!

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

I do think Hamlet was the best of Shakespeare's work. Love it. I even read it now and again. Same happens with Ibsen's Doll House, don't know why I love it but I do.

Happy to see you out of the funk!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

OMGOSH! I've been absent. I was so busy last night seeing Jack Johnson again at my daughters soccer game, which they won. And right now I'm running out the door to 3 basketball games, but I just have to say. . .


And Blogging Mama, no wonder I LOVE YOU. Did you know I teach A Doll's HOUSE! I love that play so oooooo much.

And Mariko, I don't want to jog with you. I'm too slow for you and I have no stamina.


LY Everyone!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Kritta, I hope everyone went to your comment box last night. I'm sorry I didn't show up. I'll come by after the basketball games, pinky promise.

LY Kritta

nevadanista said...

What the what? Was Jack your cocoon again?

Sandi said...

I think we should all go to the final soccer game because surely JJ will be to that one too and we could all stare at him and get pics with him and maybe even have a sing-a-long, and cheer for Crash's daughter and it would be SO much fun!

Natalie said...

Steelers?! Thems fighting words! Or word, I should say...

The Crash Test Dummy said...

My goodness, is there not a single true Steelers fan in the house?

What the what?

And Sandi, I lOVE your idea. That would be so much fun!

Sandi said...

So are they going to play for state? Is it going to be as crazy as when football goes all the way?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Yes, they're playing tonight. And NO it won't be near as crazy. Just me and Jack Johnson and few other ho hum fans. :)

I wish you could be there Sandi. I'll tell JJ aloha from you and ask him if he wants the Steelers to win the superbowl.

Sandi said...

Well I'm pretty sure that JJ is the kind of guy who would be rooting for the underdog- I hope you get the chance to ask him, in between all that cheering for your daughter! I hope they win!! Oh, and Crash, wear something cute and do your hair and put a little make up on AND don't forget your camera!!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hee hee Sandi.

Jami said...

Well, I'm almost a Steelers fan. I picked them in the playoffs anyway. I picked Steelers and Eagles for the Super Bowl. But then I was shocked, simply shocked, that eagles were defeated by cardinals. Birds of prey massacred by showy seed-eaters. Who knew the little things would have it in them? Anywho I am certain that cardinals will crumple under steel. [Simple logic. What are the schools teaching these days?]

My Diary said...

Crash, I could very well be your MIL, or even Sue as Jami claimed. You will never know because I am so so secretive. Muhahaha.

April said...

Oh my goodness, oh my goodness!!! This is such a cute Cardinals bean bag chair you have here Crash! (And you pretend you are a Steelers aren't fooling me!)

Just don't fry (go cards) bacon like Kristina does (go cards) ...... ooowwweee!!!! That would hurt!!!


Anjeny said...

Crash...I have a tiny confession to make.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Welllllll . . . . . Anjeny . . . OUT WITH IT! Don't leave us all dangling like that.

And OMGOSH, did you guys see what My Diary wrote? Freaky! Who the helk do you think it is?

I say it's someone trying to taunt me.

ALOHA APRIL! HOW ARE YOU! (Go STEELERS) 5 more days until you're not radioactive anymore. Are you feeling better? (GO STEELERS)

And 7 more days until the Steelers beat the cards.

April said...

HEY CRASH!!! (GO CARDS!) I am good! Thanks! You know what I think, I think (go cards) Anjeny is My Diary....OR Anjeny is rooting (go cards) for the Cards in the (go cards) Superbowl.....which is it Anjeny???

How did the soccer game (go cards) go last night Crash? Was JJ there? Did you have to do a balancing act with JJ and the hubby to not make them jealous of each other???? hmmmm?


The Crash Test Dummy said...

April, ooooh, I bet you're right. She's MY DIARY! Only she could taunt me that way.

ORRRR, I bet she's Emerida, the one who nominated me for all those blog awards. Only she could love me that way.

AND YES, JJ was there and I did have to balance between the two. hee hee

I will post about it today.

Heidi Ashworth said...

Miss you, Crash! I should think that having company leave and being released from being RS pres and the holidays being over might all be contributing to a major case of hibernation. I hope that's all it is . . .

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Aw Miss Heidi. That's so sweet. Thanks for noticing.

I'm not hibernating, but I'm writing a talk for a fireside tonight and my first magazine article deadline is tomorrow. Plus my two oldest kids are working on their History Day scripts.

My brain is fried.

Anjeny said...

LOL April...I wish I was a tad bit smart enough to think of that. I would have loved to be MY DIARY to taunt the dummy on her own comment box.

Ok Crash, you sure know how to take the fun out of things for a girl. Yes, I'd say you nailed it right on the head.

I am that person on ur left side bar. I was trying so hard to be annonymous but I guess those virtual people over there------>
are so darn nosy, can't keep their virtual mouth shut eh..LOL.

So how do you like my new name? Actually that was my birth name so I only use it when a special time call for it. So, I'm rooting for ya. I've nominated you so you better take your people over there to vote for ya..don't let me down, ya hear?

I guess you knew it all along eh? Aight, good luck!!!