You didn't really think I could do Wordless Wednesday, did you?
Wordless Wednesday is like the biggest oxymoron in the history of the world.
Especially when I have a message for you from the universe.
Look before you leap.
I don't know which one of you it's for because I'm just the messenger but consider yourself warned.
Fortunately for you I speak fluent Metaphorese so when I came out of the shower this morning dripping like a wet poodle to find there were no towels within a mile radius I was able to understand and interpret the deeper meaning.
Look before you leap.
Unfortunately Metaphorese is not a romance language and object lessons are extremely difficult to interpret, particularly when they entail drying off with a wash cloth and a dozen cotton balls.
Besides bringing you that message I wanted to say I'm sorry for being absent, yet absent lately.
FTR, it's an excused absence and I can bring a doctor's note if needed.
I was sick. (to. death. of. me. myself. and. I.) (The only person I wasn't sick of was Crash. I never get sick of Crash because I'd rather pretend to be dumb than pretend to be smart.)
I blame my students for my sickness. Students these days are so demanding. They expect you to learn them something more than who's going to be the next American Idol.
I also blame John Adams. Since I'm no longer stalking Jack Johnson I've turned my attention to John Adams.
I'm finding that it's much harder to be in love with John Adams than it is to be in love with Hamlet. Maybe because HBO cast Homer Simpson to play Adams instead of Mel Gibson. I guess Mel Gibsen refused to get a perm and stop brushing his teeth for 3 years.
HBO makes it really hard to stay in love with Adams, but no worries, I'm committed. I just don't understand why they would hire Paula Abdul to hold the camera during filming. By the end of the 100-hour mini-series I felt like I was curled up on a vinyl couch aboard the Super Ferry trying not to BMBO. Every scene was either tipping or tilting or slanting or rocking or rolling. And there was one scene where John Adams was actually running through a field upside down.
What the HELK, Paula? Take is easssssy, girl!
I also blame my absence on my first editor and my first deadline for my first magazine article. It was small-kine so don't get all impressed and start hating me and resenting me and envying me and talking behind my back yet. The article was for Bloodstone Magazine, which is geared to the hemophilia community.
And if you're wondering why in the world I care about hemophila--read for yourself.
And finally, I blame Gad for my absence because Gad is to blame for everything. (Including your absence. Should I blame him for that too? Or should I blame myself?)
P.S. Everyone go look at my cousin, Sewl's beautiful art. She ROCKS so hard! And so does her blog. Best feng shui ever. Best Kharma. Best cewl vibe. But don't take my word for it.