Oh guys, I'm a mess!
Seriously, I don't know what to do with myself.
Someone HELP ME!
In typical Crash Test Dummy fashion, I hit a wall today--an emotional wall. Totally crashed, and I couldn't get up off the couch for like 36 hours.
In fact I told my son, who now has strep throat, that if he wanted to go ahead and go to school I would be sick for him and lay around and be bored all day in his place.
I'm self sacrificing that way. Anything for my kids.
As it turned out he decided to stay home and be sick for himself and watch infomercials and I decided to read Shakespeare so I was bored all day anyway.
(J/K Shakespeare! You da bomb!)
So while I was in my Crash coma I couldn't stop thinking about all the things my MIL taught me while she was here.
Like did you know that you should chew your food at least 12 times before swallowing?
That's what she said.
And did you know that the trick to a yummy cup of creamy hot cocoa is mixing together a half a packet of cocoa with some non-fat, non-calorie, non-flavored skim milk and topping it off with a sprig of celery?
The list of things I learned is endless.
*SIDE NOTE (or ASIDE, as WS (Will Shakespeare) would say): If you are duct-taped to me for eternity through marriage and you want to know anything about your mom/grandma's childhood, just give me a call.
And if you want to know anything about my children's childhood, just give her a call. Especially if you want to know all the tricky ways my children sneak food out of the kitchen in-between meals.
Or maybe she's already told you that.
Back to my Crash coma. At one point I drifted off to sleep. Mostly out of sheer exhaustion from drop kicking the t.v. out the door during Yo Gabba Gabba--the show voted most likely to drive a dummy stark raving insane while she's in a coma.
While I was sleeping I had a disturbing dream that I must share. And I'm only sharing it because it's totally true--no embellishment whatsoever. If it weren't true I wouldn't share it because it's too gross.
It's hard for me to tell it because it's so disturbing and because my dream language is rated PG-13, not G like my waking language.
I dreamed that . . . .
I posted the dream for a limited time only, so if you missed it . . . PSYCH!
Let me just say it was about fraud and a bodily function that Shelle talks about all the time, but I never talk about because I'm dainty that way.
And I was putting myself at risk by publically speaking about my subconsious fears.
Bottom line: I think the universe trying to tell me I'm full of it?
P.S. GUESS WHO I CAUGHT LURKING HERE YOU GUYS?
KUTE KASEY! Remember Kute Kasey?
And you'll never believe it. She REALLY is kute and klever. I totally called it.
AND . . . get this . . . she's dating one of my students who just so happens to be a nephew to a guy who just so happens to be a pro-football player who just so happens to be married to my head cheerleader in high school.
I would give you the link to see for yourself, but Sandi hasn't signed the parental consent form yet.