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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

BEST DAY EVER! (Thanks to Jack Johnson)

Anyone who reads my blog regularly knows that I am totally in tune with the universe. I learned from Kung Fu Panda that there are no accidents. (Or did I learn that from Benjamin Button? )

If a mirror falls off your wall in the middle of the night the universe is trying to tell you something. If your microwave tazers you or if you find spagetti noodles in the shape of Chinese characters on your ceiling, the universe is speaking.


Actually, the universe is a lot like my MIL. I have no idea what it's saying, but it talks a lot

So yesterday the universe spoke to me again. It happened after my next door neighbor, Martha, bought me a magical pair of skimmer shorts from Kohls.com. I slipped them on and began sweeping my hallway, when SUDDENLY, a light that has been burned out for a week began to flicker on and off.

I looked up with a question mark on my face. Why would a dead light bulb be winking at me?


I stepped away, it stopped winking. I stepped back, it started winking. Again. And again. And Again.


"I think I'm going to have a brilliant idea today," I told my husband.


"How do you know?" he said.


"Because the universe told me so."


All day I sat waiting for my brilliant idea, but it never came, so I went to my daughter's soccer game.


Then just as I was snapping this photo . . .


What to my wondering eyes did appear?

Mmmhmmm, Jack Johnson.


All I know is the whole world began to . . .

s l o w w a y d o w n a s h e m o v e d c l o s e r . . .


a n d c l o s e r . . .


a n d c l o s e r . . .



And then he looked at me . . . and I stopped snapping . . . and the world sped up again.


Can I just say, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Was I a princess in my former life or something? Seriously, did the universe really just give me a second chance to take photos of Jack Johnson?


Do I dare disturb the universe for a second chance to take photos of Obama coming out of the bathroom?


After the game my friend, Dolly Etta, saw Jack Johnson and she started doing cartwheels in the aisles. Then she grabbed my hand and said, "Let's go talk to him. I'll take a picture of you guys together for your blog."

That's when it hit me. Why my mom was always saying, "Remember who you are, and what you stand for, and don't forget to brush your hair before you go out in case you run into Jack Johnson."

And DUH! that dead light bulb wasn't winking at me, it was sending me Morse code for "better downsize your hair today, young lady!"

So do you want to see what my hair looks like when it's star struck?

I KNOW!

So then Dolly Etta is just chatting it up with Jack Johnson. She's really got the gift of gab, that one. She was asking him what Ben Stiller is like and what David Letterman is like and what Jay Leno is like while I tried to get my tongue untied.

Finally I blurted out, "So what's Curious George like? Is he really as rascally in real life as he is in the book? Huh? huh? huh? And what about the man in the yellow hat?"


(Awkward pause.)


Then Dolly Etta was like, "I love your music so much." And I was like, "I love it more!" And she was like "Oh no you don't, girlfriend. " And I was like "Do to!" And then we had a knock-down-drag-out fist fight right there in front of Jack Johnson.


(More awkward pausing.)


Then Dolly Etta told him about my blog. And he asked politely if he could check it out.


But of course he won't, right? right? right?


I mean, he's waaaaaaaaay too busy to stop by here, right? right? right?


Of course he won't stop by.


But what if he does???


You know how when Jackie Robinson comes over for dinner and you look around your house and it's like you're seeing it through Jackie Robinson's eyes, and you realize your house is a mess.


Well that's how I feel about this blog.


Why didn't anyone tell me that I'm not even funny? Or that I make no sense! Or that I'm confusing! Or that I'm lengthy! Or that I need to downsize my hair! You guys are s'possed to be my friends!

(I guess Lisa has told me all those things. Thanx Lisa.)


Do you guys think Jack Johnson likes The Office? Or Nacho Libre?


If, by chance, the universe leads Jack Johnson here, and then Jack Johnson asks me to go on tour with him so I can blog about it (and meet Keane and Coldplay and John Mayer and Dave Matthews) and then Jack Johnson writes a song about me and how I want to turn the whole world right side up, I pinky promise I will reduce, reuse and recycle every single word I ever say for the rest of my life.


Amen!

(But if he doesn't like The Office or Nacho Libre, I'll just ask him if my MIL can go on tour with him instead.)

P.S. Everyone meet me in April's comment box right now for family prayer. She's having a radiation treatment tomorrow and she'll be quarantined for 2 weeks.

LY April!

59 comments:

Barbaloot said...

So awesome. So jealous!
And did you really have a question mark on your face? I'm assuming it wasn't permanent as I did not see it in your JJ picture. Maybe the big hair hid it?

Barbaloot said...

Ha! I beat Kristina!

Sandi said...

Yay Barbaloot you DID beat Kristina! woot! She's probly over at Aprils having prayer like she was told. I better get over there right now- but DANNNNG I wish I was Crash right now....I want a big hair pic with that yummy JJ.....oh yes I do.

Sandi said...

well I went to pray but nobody was there. am I being shunned? I gotta leave for a few hours to do very important things, so if the prayer happens...say a big AMEN for me!
And if JJ doesn't like Nacho or The Office I will be noble and sacrifice my standards and take your place Crash, cuz you know, we don't want to inconvenience the MIL. It's a burden I am willing to bear.

Kristina P. said...

I was actually working for once. I know. It really interferes with my blogging.

And I get the sort of reaction that Jack Johnson gets all the time.

In my head.

Funny Farmer said...

Hee Hee I was reading all the "why didn't somebody tell me" stuff and I began shouting at my laptop. "I DID TOO TELL YOU!"

And then I saw that you remembered that I told you.

Except I never told you that you weren't funny. So I'm telling you now. You, my BBFF, are not funny. You are HILARIOUS. Don't change a thing.

As for your hair... I see nothing wrong with it? But then I have no fashion sense so don't listen to me.

April said...

Ok....how can I go from laughing to crying in one fail swoop? Oh my goo(d)ness, Oh my goo(d)ness! This has been one awesome day for you Crash! (I guess technically it was yesterday, but I'm sure the awesomeness is still affecting you today!)

Even if JJ doesn't like the Office or Nacho Libre, I don't think Kelly Pickler would sound good with JJ. Do you? Both two different sounds!

I just have one request...can we put off family prayer until Friday? One special, sweet, gifted young lady at the doctor's office did not notify the nurse to tell the doctor that I was coming in for my special shots and pill and so they are flying them in today for me so I start tomorrow. I officially become radioactive on Friday!

PS---And I can't even see your vampire burns!!! Look at you hiding them from Jack so he doesn't know you are in love with someone else!

T said...

wait - if Jack makes it here I just want it known that I love his music More!!!! as a matter of fact I'm listening to it right now... hmmm, wait, that's your blog playlist isn't it?

(ummm, and REALLY, that's an incredible shot of the soccer team - I love it!!!)

Hexpla? I hope the universe isn't speaking through your verifier... I wouldn't want any of my plays hexed!

Alyson (New England Living) said...

Ok, before I get into the Jack Johnson stuff - may I just say that your first photo of your daughter's soccer team is AWESOME! Such a cool shot, especially with the reflection.

Ok, back to Jack Johnson - AAAHHHHHH!!! That's the coolest! I'm going to show my daughter because Banana Pancakes is like one of her favs.

You look so pretty in your photo with good ol' Jack. I hope you swings by and I hope he finally tells you the truth about George.

Alyson (New England Living) said...

Do you think George is a fall-down drunk and that's why there was an awkward pause?

Stephen said...

you guys make a great couple. Your blog looks fine. Just hide the apostate link, and you will be fine.

nevadanista said...

I am in complete awe! I haven't even read it all yet - will be back later for a real comment.

*bows* I'm not worthy

Oh, and thanks for visiting today :)

Anjeny said...

At least you didn't pass out in front of him...that would be soooo embarrassing...ahahah.
That's totally phenomenal that the universe is talking to you.
Oh yeah, I think once JJ check your blog out, he will become your BIGGEST fan instead of you, him..makes sense? lol

So said...

That rocks!!! So what did he say about the man in the yellow hat?

Melanie J said...

Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!

That's SO cool.

And so's your hair.

nevadanista said...

Now that I've read your post, and not just looked, I realize that I'm even less worthy than I previously thought. Now I am lying prostate before you, which is way beyond bowing. But American Idol is coming on right NOW, so I'm up already, and will be back later for further comment...

Heidi Ashworth said...

So. . . . if my TV turns itself on by itself once a day, every day, at different times of day (and it does) does it meant that I get to meet some cultural hero of mine? Hmmm., . . by the way, I think your hair looks great and you are very adorable and have a fab smile!

Sandi said...

oh and by the way Crash, your hair looks fine and I really like your orange-ish shirt, very cute! I bet JJ loves you and wants to make banana pancakes with you now. Maybe you could convince him to come to your next slumber party and we could all get to know him a little better.

Sandi said...

oh crash are you here? I have a question....

Sue said...

SO JEALOUS. Of your encounter with JJ, not the hair.

O.k., maybe also the hair.

Sandi said...

OK so your not here, but if you come back and can tell me where (if?) you can get a permit to have a fire at the beach, could you give me that info here and I will check back in the A.M.?
Mahalo :)

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Hip hip hooray for you. And yea for people who make us get our pictrure taken with people we adore but might be too shy to ask to take a picture with our selves. I totally made some friends get their picture taken with Lavell Edwards when he was here. I am pushy that way. And I also have the gift of gab. But not when it comes to my blog lately, i wonder why.
Hurray for second chances also. They totally rock.

nevadanista said...

Next time you hang with JJ, I hope he sings 'People Watching' just for you. You're the best at people watching, even if you had your camera on self-timer when the big 'O' (the other big 'o' that is)came out of the bathroom!

Nobody told me what to do
I can't stop breaking all the rules
And I'm just people watching
The other people watching me
We're all people watching
The other people watching we



word verifier - ingness

How awesome is that?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hi Everyone!

Sorry I'm so late. I had to teach my night class, but really we just turned on American Idol and laughed ourselves silly. Shhhhh don't tell anyone. My favorite was twan wan and his big hair and his tap dancing feet.

Oh Nevada, that's a great song. I better add it to the play list. It's amazing how you know me and my blog needs better than I do. If I go on tour with JJ I'll bring you along as my theme song manager.

Sandi, I'll ask my husband and get back to you.

YAY Barbaloot for beating Kristina. Hee hee.

You guys are all cracking me up. I gotta run, my husband's coming. I'm sapposed to be putting the kids to bed.

LATER

Jen said...

Oooo, too bad about the tongue-tied thing. If you'd had your blog there, it wouldn't have been any problem because you could have blogged at him! I mean, as far as I know, you haven't been blog-tied yet, right?

Then again, maybe you'd like JJ to blog-tie you? Sounds kinda fun when you put it that way...

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hee hee Jen, that does sound kinda fun, when you put it that way. Better than being hog tied.

And you're right. My fingers speak quicker than my tongue.

Sandi, My husband thinks it's just plain illegal, but Satellite City Hall would be the place to ask and check. We've done it before at Hukilau many times (w/o a permit, but you didn't hear it from me.) I wouldn't want Kute Kasey to get arrested. Hey, I have another Kute Kasey in my night class.

BRB

Blogging Mama said...

Ahh, Crash! I'm follower of the week. Dang I should have ditched my projects sooner and come over to play (I read through bloglines and don't always comment so didn't see your mention.)

Steal anything in my closet, even the green jacket okay??

I love ya!

And a JJ sighting, oh, melt my heart. Shame he didn't make it for the slumber party, that would have been really fun!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

NHC, YOU are so right. I would want to be with YOU if I ever saw someone important. We should totally hook up and go stalking Donny and Marie together.

SUE! Is that really you? You're way too famous to hang out here. But since you're here, I have to say, the whole JJ thing is just another super hopeless romance.

Stephen, we make a good couple? ha ha That just sounds funny. And for all of you who said the word fine, don't you know fine is a backhaded insult? You have to say FINE to make it a compliment.

Thank you to all of you who gave me front handed compliments--Melainie, Miss Heidi, NE Alyson.

Ha ha T and April and Anjeny--so dang cute!

Nevada, GET UP off the floor, girl. If he stops by then you can worship me.

So, WELCOME! He said the man in the yellow hat is a total snob in real life. But he said Ben Stiller is totally chill and cool and normal and not an attention seeker AT ALL when the camera's aren't rolling.

Good night everybody. I feel like I'm missing someone. Please forgive me if I did.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh, it was Blogging Mama. You're welcome. And I'm so excited to borrow your green jacket.

dolly etta said...

I'm so glad that picture of you and Jack turned out so adorable!!!!! I seriously was so heart throbbing excited that I was blurry eyed and did not think I had the camera focused. Whew! But wasn't it so amazing how mellow Jack is that it totally calmed me down and then we all just chatted like it's so completely normal.. and yet sort of sneaky...like we were in the hall while sunday school is going on. Not like two "40 is the new 20" girls. ; )

So your picture is super cute and although I am dying for you to email me the one you snapped of me, I am now scared it is going to be too real and show what kind of day I had. I was seriously up at 4 a.m. with a sore throat and was in and out of bed several times. Then last minute before I took off to the game, I at least put on semi matching clothes.

Why oh why did this have to be my bad hair year? Okay at least you have the picture for me. Right?

American in Norway said...

What a hottie...first time here, I am off to snoop! (popping by from Blogging mamma)

wesley's mom said...

A. I am soooo jealous

B. You are definetly funny. sooo funny

Sandi said...

Oh Miss Crash dear, forgive me for using your blog to find out stuff for KK, but could you possibly tell me where to find this satellite city hall, because KK needs to go there to do her car registration that they lost, and we can't seem to find one that is near by...plus also she could check out the fire permit thing. I really did try googling before I burdened you....no luck.
Thanks:)
p.s. I want to take a night class where I can mock the AI wannabes!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Sandi, there used to be so many of them, but my husband thinks the only one left is in Pearl City at the mall. There should be one in Wahiwa, (turn left) on California Ave. That's where I always used to go.

Dolly Etta, I KNOW it was so totally amazing and I couldn't stop running over and over it in my head. It was so comfortable.

I hate to say that you took a much better photo of me. I caught you with a weird look on your face and you looked much prettier in person that night.

Maybe we better get dolled up for the homecoming game on Saturday and if he's there again the universe will give me a second chance to take a great photo of you and Jack Johnson. hee hee. I will email it to you anyway.

Hi Wesley's mom. Miss You!

Welcome american in Norway! Thanks for calling me a hottie. hee hee J/K PEOPLE!!!

Emily Anne Leyland ( Art-n-Sewl) said...

OH MY GOSH!!!! That is soooo Cool! SO has he stopped by yet. Ooooh- waiting on Jack Johnson to visit your blog...eeeks!

JustRandi said...

WOW! It's a great picture. Well, it's a LOT of great pictures!!
You either have amazing luck or just are incredibly observant. I don't think I would have even noticed.

Funny Farmer said...

Hee hee me neither, Randi. Until this post, I didn't even know what JJ looked like. So he'd have been perfectly safe from me!

Anjeny said...

Sandi, I can't help but eavesdrop on ur conversation with Crash..lol. Actually, the closest Satellite City Hall to BYUH is at the Winward Mall in Kanehoe. And about the fire on the beach, the only beach that allows fire up here on the North Shore is Kakela Beach park...it's not exactly on the beach persay but there's a couple area that was built mainly for bonfires. Of course, I've done with Crash did before but that was only once, so don't say anything, pls pretty pls...it was a moment of spontanety and my hubby thought it would be a good idea since it's all about FHE. So tell ur daughter to try out Kanehoe first then try Pearl City, ok? Good luck.

Sandi said...

Thanks so much Crash- I pledge to TRY to never bother you with stuff such as that again- yES get dolled up for the homecoming game, surely he will be to that one? By the way, if JJ is wondering, I totally like the beard stubble..haha

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Sandi, they closed the one at Windward Mall.

Kritta22 said...

How does Kristina P comment first on everyone's blog?? Is she in tune the bloggy universe?

that's pretty cool that you got to meet him. Curious George!! Ha ha ha ha ha ah!! LY but I'm laughing on the inside!

Kritta22 said...

Going to april's fro family prayer.

CaJoh said...

My wife has a similar picture of her and Tye Pennington when Trading Spaces came to Northwestern (the University that I work at). Unfortunately I think it wasn't taken with our digital camera so I'd have to dig for it.

Thanks for following,

Anjeny said...

Ok, sorry about that one in Kanehoe sandi..Crash is right, it's closed.
Here are the phone numbers for the Satellite City Halls at Wahiawa and Pearl City
Wahiawa (808)621-0791
Pearl City (808)483-3405
Here's link the place
http://www.co.honolulu.hi.us/csd/

Your daughter can do online registration too if she wants. Good luck.

Crash, can u please pass that along? I'm sorry, didn't mean to use ur box like this.

Sandi said...

Anjeny- Thank you so much. I'm sure if we repent really quick and promise to never use Crash's comment box for personal business ever again, she might forgive us. My daughter did the online registration, but the tags never made it to her, so now it is her responsibility to go get new ones...why they can't mail them out again, I do not know...but whatev. Thanks for the info!

Funny Farmer said...

Crash may forgive you cuz she's a soft hearted dummy, but I WON'T How dare you desecrate the holy humor comment box with boring blasphemous business?!?!

Repent ye, repent ye, for the Uzi is close at hand!!!

(Just kidding girls.)(Except for the boring part. It really was boring.)

Anjeny said...

I hear ya sandi...Hawaii does things totally different than the usual and it can sometimes be very taxing. Have ur daughter call those numbers and maybe they might help her out about the fire on the beach issue.
And chick...really sorry to bore you out like that...I thought if I can help a sistah out real quick, we can get back to more fun stuff like eye poking and drooling over JJ or whatever it is Crash does when she comes in contact with him..lol.

Mariko said...

I wonder if JJ feels special for being able to make someone's day the best day ever. In addition to all the fame and fortune and stuff.
LY April. I hope everything goes well.
My word verifier is "pienchap". I think that makes this the best day ever.

val of the south said...

Impressed by the covertness of your photos, until you were caught of course! So cute! Had to comment because my word verification is fightsol - I must fight for the right to suntan!

Sandi said...

Farmer, I solemnly swear to never ever be boring and business like on this sacred blog again. Sorry you had to see it.

April said...

BIG HUGGGGSSSS to EVERYONE! Thanks so much everyone!! I did part one of three parts today. I am tired, but that's about it for now. Friday is the nasty day when the family can only be around me for 15 minute increments.

LY!!!

Me said...

Will I be banned from your blog, your comment box or any future sleep overs if I admit that I had to google "Jack Johnson" and find out who he is? Because if so..it wasn't me who googled him. I totally knew who you have been talking about all this time! ;)

I am LoW said...

What a great couple you two would have made! :-)

Lovin' the soccer photo!

Lovin' that he might come visit your blog!

Lovin' that I know he'll be lovin' it!

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Honestly...You are seriously so PRETTY, poor Jack Johnson, put to shame like that!

He fur sure has to ask you to tour with him since you put him on your blog and your beauty pretty much stole the show...

In fact if I was JJ I would be freakin' mad...but he seemed pretty happy...and bonus that he got to see TWO girls fight in front of him!

OHMYGOSH...TWINNER...I love watching American Idol just to LAUGH myself silly...The big Hair guy that tapped was good, but what about BIKINI girl and how Tara totally freaked out on her? I mean, why get mad at someone if they GOT it? ya know...you got it you flaunt it, more power to her...but I did laugh when Randi made her jump up and down again and Simon instantly liked her...

GUYS!

They only have ONE thing on their minds!

I will family prayer on FRIDAY for ya April! LOVE YA!

Word Verifier: MUGHO...hahahaha your word verifier just called you a MUG HO--ooooohhhhh it's so in trouble!!!

Martha said...

Ok, have to jump in on the car registration thing. Sandi, is this a used car? We also went to Kaneohe to change our registration to find they closed the dang place.

Then we went all the way to Ala Moana and after waiting in line we find out they will not accept the title unless it's in cursive--unreal. Of course the guy who we bought it from has since moved. So I forged his signature and took the thing to Waihiawa the next day. What a hassle.

Ok, I can't believe you got a picture with Jack. I swear you're life has just been one exciting thing after another since you started this blog. What will be next?

Funny Farmer said...

I can't believe Martha just admitted to committing a misdemeanor on the internet!

Martha said...

The guy I bought the car from wrote his name on the dang title, just printed it. Maybe that's how he writes cursive. Hey some people just write an X. Crash's hubby is like a doctor and his writing is illegible. So I just helped the seller guy out by helping him sign in cursive. Plus, if I didn't get the dang registration changed that day they were gonna charge me $50. What could I do?

Martha said...

I just showed R this post with the awesome picture of you and Jack.

Ok, you know how some things you gotta watch or read a couple times to really appreciate it. That was this post for me. R also thought it was way past funny.

Amanda said...

Crash, I completely forgot to tell you....next time talk with Jack Johnson let him know your blog is generating sales :)

I confess I had no clue who Jack Johnson was, then I asked my musically savvy husband if he knew Jack Johnson's music and he played a Curious George tune for me. I realized I knew some of the music from the movie and expressed that I enjoyed the laid back quality and my husband purchased a couple albums for me.

Maybe if Jack realizes you're generating sales for him he'll pop in on occassion :)