I have no time for love today. I'm been too busy having the bestest and worstest day of my life.
The bestest because it was GIRL's DAY out! Me and my D and my MIL hit the road for our annual shop till we drop day.
We only have three rules: 1.) my MIL has to take us out to lunch. 2.) We have to stay at Savers for at least 2 hours. 3.) We have to giggle our guts out.
We didn't break any rules, and I met my love quota, plus my Mountain Dew quota.
Love + Mountain Dew + Savers = YAY!
And here's a tip for all you tip junkies out there: Love is way more fun on Mountain Dew.
My D and I did some major giggling at Savers picking out clothes for each other. You can learn a lot about how your daughter sees you by the clothes she picks out for you at Savers. I was a good sport and didn't even get my feelings hurt until she pulled out a velvet brinded cow print skirt. How rude! But then I found a velvet zebra print hand bag so I bought them both. How cute is that? A cow skirt with a zebra bag.
There was a ton of giggling going on over lunch. My daughter started it off with a joke, of which I shall share.
D: "You know what's good for your lungs?"
Aha ha ha . . . yea. I don't know where she came from.
Then we giggled over my Panda Express fortune cookie. Anyone who's been reading me for a while knows I can't read a fortune cookie without playing the "in bed" game.
So here's my fortune:
"Make use of your finest talents."
If what Kung Fu Panda says is true, that there are no accidents, then I know Panda Express was sending me a message from the universe today because I often do blog in bed.
I took it as a sign that the time has come for me to make blog history.
But then I got home and checked my answering machine.
Now I'm bawling my brains out. Seriously, I am. You can't see me, but there are prolific droves of droplets spewing forth from my eyeballs.
And the reason is because the History dept. had called. And they said there's been some unexpected changes and they are wondering if I could step up for the department and teach a class.
I was wondering why the dept head brought me 8 brand new awesome free books during Christmas break.
Plus the department did take me to Fiji and New Zealand and Mexico to help me get ready to teach any classes that might come up at the last minute.
How do you say no after getting 8 awesome free books and a trip to Fiji and New Zealand and Mexico, huh? huh? huh? How do you say "I'm sorry, but I can't teach. I'm going to be SUPER DUPER busy, um . . . blogging my brains out!"
(How do you spell a nose blowing loudly?)
Picture Charlie Brown right now. WAAAAAAH!
So that means I'm going to be teaching 3 classes this semester, which means I'm going to have to do my hair every day of the week, except Saturdays, and which means I'm never going to see you again.
So I just came to say goodbye. sniff. Waaah. loud nose blowing. Because my husband thinks I should spend time doing things I actually get paid for.
Such a kill joy!
I can blog through a flood and through a vacation and through a black out, but can I blog through 3 classes, 65 students, and hundreds of papers? I don't know.
Picture Lucille Ball right now. WAAAAAAAH!!!
And just when I was so excited because T asked me to be Dear Abby. I have always wanted to be Dear Abby.
And I was going to tell you about Stephen, my brother, who pretends to be an apostate just to get attention.
Well maybe I can squeeze a little Dear Abby in. And maybe I can spare a few moments to tell you about Stephen.
GAD, there are so many things I want to tell you.
But not now. I need to go put some ice cubes on my eyelids so I don't look like a hideous beast in the morning.
And I might have to double my prices for each smile and ROTFLOL.
I mean, I'm just saying.
P.S Me and My D bought a shirt for Mariko, her hoity toity English teacher because she's such a hippy! You're welcome, Mariko. You can pay us back later (with interest). LY!!!