Pages

Monday, January 5, 2009

I'm just a girl who cain't say no . . .

I have no time for love today. I'm been too busy having the bestest and worstest day of my life.

The bestest because it was GIRL's DAY out! Me and my D and my MIL hit the road for our annual shop till we drop day.

We only have three rules: 1.) my MIL has to take us out to lunch. 2.) We have to stay at Savers for at least 2 hours. 3.) We have to giggle our guts out.

We didn't break any rules, and I met my love quota, plus my Mountain Dew quota.

Love + Mountain Dew + Savers = YAY!

And here's a tip for all you tip junkies out there: Love is way more fun on Mountain Dew.

My D and I did some major giggling at Savers picking out clothes for each other. You can learn a lot about how your daughter sees you by the clothes she picks out for you at Savers. I was a good sport and didn't even get my feelings hurt until she pulled out a velvet brinded cow print skirt. How rude! But then I found a velvet zebra print hand bag so I bought them both. How cute is that? A cow skirt with a zebra bag.

There was a ton of giggling going on over lunch. My daughter started it off with a joke, of which I shall share.

D: "You know what's good for your lungs?"

MIL: "What?"

D: "Air."

Aha ha ha . . . yea. I don't know where she came from.

Then we giggled over my Panda Express fortune cookie. Anyone who's been reading me for a while knows I can't read a fortune cookie without playing the "in bed" game.

So here's my fortune:

"Make use of your finest talents."

Hee hee.

If what Kung Fu Panda says is true, that there are no accidents, then I know Panda Express was sending me a message from the universe today because I often do blog in bed.

I took it as a sign that the time has come for me to make blog history.

But then I got home and checked my answering machine.

Now I'm bawling my brains out. Seriously, I am. You can't see me, but there are prolific droves of droplets spewing forth from my eyeballs.

And the reason is because the History dept. had called. And they said there's been some unexpected changes and they are wondering if I could step up for the department and teach a class.

sniffle.

sniffle.

I was wondering why the dept head brought me 8 brand new awesome free books during Christmas break.

sniffle.

Plus the department did take me to Fiji and New Zealand and Mexico to help me get ready to teach any classes that might come up at the last minute.

How do you say no after getting 8 awesome free books and a trip to Fiji and New Zealand and Mexico, huh? huh? huh? How do you say "I'm sorry, but I can't teach. I'm going to be SUPER DUPER busy, um . . . blogging my brains out!"

sniffle.

sniffle.

(How do you spell a nose blowing loudly?)

Picture Charlie Brown right now. WAAAAAAH!

So that means I'm going to be teaching 3 classes this semester, which means I'm going to have to do my hair every day of the week, except Saturdays, and which means I'm never going to see you again.

WAAAAAAH!

So I just came to say goodbye. sniff. Waaah. loud nose blowing. Because my husband thinks I should spend time doing things I actually get paid for.

Such a kill joy!

I can blog through a flood and through a vacation and through a black out, but can I blog through 3 classes, 65 students, and hundreds of papers? I don't know.

Picture Lucille Ball right now. WAAAAAAAH!!!

And just when I was so excited because T asked me to be Dear Abby. I have always wanted to be Dear Abby.

And I was going to tell you about Stephen, my brother, who pretends to be an apostate just to get attention.

Sniffle!!!!!!!

Well maybe I can squeeze a little Dear Abby in. And maybe I can spare a few moments to tell you about Stephen.

GAD, there are so many things I want to tell you.

But not now. I need to go put some ice cubes on my eyelids so I don't look like a hideous beast in the morning.

And I might have to double my prices for each smile and ROTFLOL.

I mean, I'm just saying.

P.S Me and My D bought a shirt for Mariko, her hoity toity English teacher because she's such a hippy! You're welcome, Mariko. You can pay us back later (with interest). LY!!!

27 comments:

Sandi said...

am I number one?

Sandi said...

Yep, I was number one...woohoo! Wow, what a bummer to have to do your hair every day of the week- how on earth do they have the nerve to ask that of you? I want Kute Kasey to take a class from you-maybe she needs a history one....?? I'm sure you will do a grand job and will somehow find the energy to keep us entertained- your family might have to go hungry or without laundry or something, but they can deal- right?

Kristina P. said...

Ummmm, you'd better still be able to blog your brains out. You get paid in blessings and happiness. SO much better than material things like paper with stuff printed on it. Meh. Who needs it?

Heidi Ashworth said...

Cute shirt and that's all I'm saying b/c my mom taught me that if you don't have something nice to say, don't say nothin' at all. Besides, I think I am still in shock. Also, I am a true optimist and I am thinking that you will still find time to blog. Who cares about personal hygiene and all that? The word verifier says taggrat. I think that should be mandatory blog speak for someone who is always tagging people. It's a safe way to go since I don't tag. Or, hey! Maybe I should be the taggrat b/c I don't tag people. Umm, well, anyway, I guess that's enough small talk. I refuse to give up hope. Lurve will find a way! (now I have to go type taggrat again)

Heidi Ashworth said...

PLUS I really need to hear about your brother Stephen b/c he thinks he can wax philosophical on your blog. Oh my! A real word for the word verifier: worker Hey, it's not talking about me. It must have gotten wind of your increased workload. Already. Wow!

T said...

I can wait a little on the Dear Abby answer... I just avoid that neighbor for now - and that's working out just fine :) (at least for me)

BMBO now refers to blogging? that is a touch less... well... gross...

oh - and we play the fortune cookie game too... only for the children's educational purposes they have to pick their own prepositional phrase. (it works great with the hymn book too if you're ever bored in church - WARNING-do NOT tell your kids about that version of the game!)

Amanda said...

I hope everything turns out well. How fun with the shopping. Which reminds me I need new pants... maybe for my birthday I can justify it. When I show my husband the Belt loops coming off one pair, and how my favorite pair are falling apart... he'll have to agree. Two new pairs at least... and two shirts. =)

Jami said...

You and Heidi both getting responsible on the same day? And Sue went and got a job and stuff. Ahhhhh!Ahhh! Ahhhhhhhh! [Please picture Shelly Duvall's distress in The Shining.]

Funny Farmer said...

On Saturday I took my daughters shopping and we ate lunch at Panda Express and my 16-year old's fortune cookie said, "Accept the next proposition that comes your way."

Needless to say I did NOT play the "in bed" game with that! :eek:

Kindly explain to your husband that if you don't blog, you won't be happy. And if you ain't happy.... ain't NOBODY happy. Better yet, put that in a fortune cookie and give it to him!

Anjeny said...

What?!! You not blogging?!! How in the world are boring blogging mommies going to survive without our favorite dummy? Where can we find another troublemaker, philosophical dummy with Kung Fu Panda wisdom, spreading lurve all over the bloggaland and who has her own person she prays to and taking the bloggers' names in vain?
I suppose you don't think causing black-outs is good enough, you have to disappear too?
(**walks out totally shaking her head because of the unfairness of it all**)

April said...

What is with everyone (you and Heidi) getting all responsible on the same day? Is this the end of the world? I can hear REM singing right now! This stinks! I think it's about time that the kidlings learn how to cook, sew, laundry and whatever else it takes. You can do it under the guise that it will build character!

Ahhhhh shucks!!! Bribery wins out every time! We all know that!

PS-If you wear the skirt your daughter picked out for you then nobody will be looking at your hygiene. True story! hahahahaha!!

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

OK first of all, if you have to cut back in your life, I think you should ask to be released from being RS president, because everyone knows that is like a full time job. Seriously, get your priorities straight. Yea give up the eternal blessings for us stalkers. If you can't say no, then you can't say no to us.

Second of all, Funny Farmer it is good to see you back around these here parts, and you crack me up.

And thirdly, I loved April's suggestion and I know it will work because I do it all the time. I always go around like a candidate for What not to wear.

And fourthly, Savers is my mostest favoritest place in the whole widest world. 90% of my wardrobe comes from Savers, a fact that I am sure would mortify Stacy and Clinton.

And fifthly, have you ever noticed that I like to number my comments. I wonder what is up with that.

And sixthly, I think I might copy cat you and write about hypothetical situations. It looks so fun.

And seventhly, the word verifier says aptio, which means that I am apt to have to write witty wise comment.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Good night nurse, I was not logged in and so I have to comment again so I can check the follow up comment box. Sheesh. Silly me.

Heidi Ashworth said...

Everyone (okay, just April and Jami but aren't they everyone?) are accusing me of being responsible and I just didn't get it and THEN it hit me. Yah. On the same day. Nertzy!

Blogging Mama said...

You must find time to blog. I can't go without my daily dose of dummy.

Zebras and cows, very cool!

Mariko said...

YES! love the shirt.
Okay, so I'm confused. They ask you to teach a class and you're not happy?
Oh.
You don't need a class. Hmmm. If my husband teaches it, can they give him a freakin' full time position?
That would solve all our problems. Then I could blog my brains out more, with you.
No movie this time? Still jealous. I actually just went to the goodwill in Wahiawa, and it was amazing. There was a shirt there that was so super duper cute, much cuter than I would ever pay for, because I tend to go cheap and ugly, and then I tried it on, and the sleeves actually got stuck on my fat arms. I had to pull at it for a good 5 minutes before it released its choke hold. I was imagining all sorts of things about how I was going to have to call someone in to help me cut the sleeves off. (no Amen for clothes today.)
Dang. I should have bought it for you, skinny arms.
Did I mention I had puff pastry wrapped brie for dinner?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh my goodness. Let me start backwards.

Mariko, do I sound ungrateful? Oh Gad, I do, don't I?

I don't mean to. I mean to sound overwhelmed because I already have 2 classes and I haven't taught this history class for 2 years so there would be a lot of prep time. PLUS, I'm not a HISTORY teacher so I have to study extra hard to bluff my way through. Maybe your husband COULD teach it? Is HE a history teacher?

I'm glad you like the shirt. You should let Pam wear it once in a while too. And my arms aren't skinny. I have thick arms. I can totally relate to your plight. In fact on Sunday I had a twin sitting on either side of me at church and they were each playing with my flabby arms and giggling their gut out. So charming.

Pat, I love your idea. You're brilliant. Maybe I should bad mouth my R.S. president on my blog like Annie did so I can get called in and released. Hee hee. Or maybe I could start wearing my velvet cow skirt to R.S. That would for sure get me released. Especially with the Zebra hand bag. Except I didn't really buy them.

What's the deal with Heidi and Sue getting responsible too? I better go read their blogs. Somebody has GOT to keep the partying like a Rock Star!

April, you're right. Bribery wins. And yet it's illegal. And corrupt. This is a case for Maxwell Smart.

Anjeny. Sometimes I can't believe how dang cute you are. You just are so dang cute.

FUNNY FARMER? I am totally rubbing my eyes right now. Is my BBFF back? Where the HELK have you been? Vacationing? How dare you just disappear like that?

But that is a funny fortune. And that is pitch perfect advice so I guess I can forgive you.

Thank you Blogging Mama! And thank you Amanda. (May all your shopping dreams come true).

T, I had never thought to play the "in bed" game with the hymns. hee hee. Suddenly I'm looking forward to Sunday.

Kristina P. you're have a point. And Sandi, you have a point too.

You guys give me much to contemplate. THANKS for the advice and support.

You guys are the BESTEST friends ever.

LY Bestest friends!

And YAY for Savers. 90 percent of what I own is from Savers. I knew we were soul sistahs.

Mariko said...

I was kidding. I promise. You're not an ungrateful wench.
Especially 'cause full timers teach 4 classes and you still get paid by the measly credit hour for your possible 3. How lame-o is that.
(Jake teaches art. Hee hee.)

Alyson (New England Living) said...

What the...?! I know I commented on this post last night and it's not on here!! Ok, after I get back from shopping, I'll redo my comment. How flippin' annoying is that?!

R Max said...

I blogged about shopping with my kids. It was a nightmare, thanks for the reminder.

Next time I'll do it with mountain dew. I didn't realise I was missing that crucial step. So next time I may not want to throw myself off a bridge before the day is out.

CaJoh said...

Even if you're not around as much we'll still send you the louve.

I have confidence that you will adjust to the sudden change in schedule.

Barbaloot said...

Ooh! I love LOVE history. I want to come take your classes!

I am LoW said...

I don't think you can quit blogging. Not with the blog contract you signed and all. Which was something like- Thou shalt not quit unless LoW grants permission.

And I won't.

WV: rewinter- I hear we might have a rewinter, since it got cold once, then it was 78 yesterday, but it might cool off again

Annie Valentine said...

Crash, a herd of Hawaiian buffalo couldn't keep you away from your blog.

SWIRL said...

I'm glad you let TV characters guide your future... very funny.

But I completely agree.. I mean, if you spend more time blogging- just think of all the money you will SAVE... you never will have to shower, shampoo, deoderant- your blog friends don't mind... and you won't need clean clothes, new clothes, cute clothes anymore either!

I completely support the full time blogging. Cuz if you stop blogging- I'll never know what is going on in your life!

iMaLLheaRt said...

What kind of history class is it? I'll teach it. I can bluff my way through it...I did graduate in social science secondary education...which is history and like other stuff...would I qualify? haha. Good luck.

Martha said...

So what History class and section are you teaching? I am totally going to add 10 more students to your class tomorrow.

Since I get my clothes from Kohls.com for only $3 I don't do Savers anymore. I'm too lazy to drive that far.

I hope your present comes soon, maybe tomorrow.