Sunday, January 11, 2009

Today is the first day . . .

. . . of the rest of my Relief-Society-President-free life.

This morning my counselors and I were called into the bishop's office at 8 a.m. The YW presidency was coming out just as we were going in.

They didn't make eye contact.

The bishop broke the news that our time had come to step down from our throne.

We wandered from his office in a daze toward the YW Presidency. In a state of shock we hugged each other.

Then we started crying.

Then we started giggling.

Then we started cheerling.

Then we started high fiving.

Then we started going inactive.

J/K, everyone, Sheesh! Take a joke!

But seriously, it's a strange feeling when you get released from such an action packed responsibility. It's a heavy/light feeling.

It's sad/happy.

And then it's happy/sad.

And then it's just plain happy/happy!

But then you walk outside and the day is brilliantly blue and delightfully warm and calm and cheerful, and you think, "What? The universe isn't even going to shed a single tear? How RUDE!"

And then you go home and you have this overwhelming electrical charge running through your veins along with an exceeding desire to break the sabbath.

You look around. You blink. You rub your eyes.

It's as if you're seeing everything for the very first time. You can't believe it--your husband's hair is shabby, your children's fingernails are filthy and your house in in disarray.

How did this happen? And who lives here, anyway? And why is there a naked Christmas tree in the corner?

Needless to say this morning before church I scrubbed all my walls, and disinfected my toilets. I cleaned out my fridge and under my stove. I organized my garage. I washed all the windows and ironed all the screens. I did all my scrapbooks and all my geneology and all my 72 hour kits and all my canning. I made and froze 3 months worth of meals. I scrubbed my kids hands and feet with a wire brush and I tied them to the bed and made them suck on a toothpaste lolipop.

Then I tied my husband to the bed and kissed him on the forehead until he cried, "UNCLE!"

It's amazing what you can accomplish when the mantle is lifted.

Still . . .

I must admit, I'm kinda gonna miss my Sistahs!


Kristina P. said...

Look forward to a stake RS calling! Yay!!!

iMaLLheaRt said...

I wish I could accomplish what you did! AMAZING!

Alyson (New England Living) said...

I guess what I'm going to say is - sorry, but also congratulations. You are free! Fly little bird!

Felt the same when I was released from primary a couple of weeks ago. No, not as much of a responsiblity as RS president, but 10 years in the same calling makes you feel a bit weighed down. I feel free!

Amanda said...

I'd be so happy if I could superwoman power clean house and kid's fingernails.

I'm sad just thinking about the fingernails. It's mostly tough just because they fight me on it.

Jami said...

I say the same thing that I would have said when you were called if I'd known you then: Congratualtions. My sympathies.

Impressive accomplishments this morning. I didn't get nearly that much done.

Kritta22 said...

I hear stake callings in order!!

I got out of bed this morning in time for church. I was even early!! I know, I know, ALRIGHT, it's not THAT big a deal.

Guess what I got sustained as today?

Hymnbook coming my way??

Did you get that stinking quilt yet?

Sandi said...

See! I told you that Kristina P is always first! that is kind of weird. So, Crash, 1st you get out of teaching that History class and now you get out of being the RS pres, what is next? I hope you realize that you just freed up lots of time to keep us entertained, nope, you do not get to spend that time taking your kids fishing or going to soccer matches or even cleaning under your stove or kissing your husbands forehead. Nope, you belong to us!

April said...

Oh my goodness, oh my goodness....what ARE you going to do with ALL of your spare time? I have a suggestion. Keep entertaining us! Puhlease? Pretty puhlease with whip cream on it?

robin said...

I'm soooooo jealous of all the things you got done. My calling only requires me to teach every other week. That being said I like to be prepared. I taught today for example and came home from church and read the lesson I will be teaching in two weeks. Stop me I can't help myself!!! Is being overprepared a sickness or does it have a diagnosis in the latest version of the DSM? I would have a panic attack if I had to teach last minute like the phone call my husband got 10 minutes before we left for church last week asking him to teach a class. No problem he says and he prepares his lesson during sacrament. Me??? Freak out city!!! and pass the migraine meds please!!!!

So I'm happy with my two weeks to prepare and no surprises please.

My other older sister is the fly by the seat of her pants personality/take any dare/eat sushi/act crazy/laugh loudly (okay I have a loud laugh too but I think that came from sharing a room with her for too many years when we were growing up). Me...I play it safe.

Have fun with whatever comes your way next.

Heidi Ashworth said...

It's about time. I figured they would shed themselves of you once they got wind of this blog and all your apostate ways. (you know I'm just joking, right?) (but really, Crash, not wearing nylons to church is skating on pretty thin ice, don't you think?)

Funny Farmer said...

It was the nudity and all the "helks" and "gad" references on your blog, I'm sure of it.

Whee Haw! Welcome back to peasant life, girlie!

"aemenzy" AMEN with Flair!

Annie Valentine said...

May you be sent to primary. Like me.

We got a new bishop today. WOO HOO!!!!!! (is that bad to say?)

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Alyson, I'm so glad you're now in Enrichment because YOU were born to ENRICH. I hate to say this because I KNOW I'm knocking on wood right now, but I've never had a priamary calling. But I've been Enrichment leader 5 times.

Kritta, you give me a quilt and I'll give you a hymnbook. ;)

Sandi and April, you guys pay such close attention I have to lOVE YOU. You make me laugh.

Robin, I believe you have to fake out the opposition when you're teaching a lesson or going to the temple. You place your lesson manual inside a trashy novel and pretend you're NOT doing something good. Or you pretend you're cleaning your house, then quickly throw on a dress, grab your recommend and rush out the door.

I would rather get a call the night before, otherwise you spend two weeks in tears going through tremendous trials so you'll be humbled and actually learn something you can share with others.

J/K Robin. But my mom is an over preparer and she's always disappointed in her lessons because she gets so wound up.

Heidi, the bishop said it wasn't because of my irreverent blog. He pinky promised. He said the world actually needs more irreverent bloggers.

That goes for you too Lisa.

Oh, maybe he was INSPIRED to release me because of all my charming cursing.

We all know what that means.


Bloggonit! How cute is that?


Oh Annie! You have cursed me to eternal tamnation. And you shouldn't have said that. You will surely be excommunicated knowing your luck! The universe has very big ears. I didn't even have to bad mouth my RS President like you did.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Notice I'm the 13th comment AGAIN!

Blogging has made me so in tune with the universe it's incredible. Seriously, what are the chances? I started out as comment 11.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

I'm always comment #14 too.


IWA said...

I remember the day that you were Put in... and you got up and told us about your life growing up! I had never heard anyone be that truthful before! From that point I knew I loved you!

I was released from my ward last october and i was given a week to cry, cheer, gloat, and think about how I was going to get up and take a bow when they released me over the pulpit! of course i didnt.. almost.. but didnt!

Colleen said...

I second Iwa! What I loved about Relief Society with you at the helm was how emotionally truthful the tone was. It made it all so real, and often profoundly spiritual. And, sometimes as funny as this blog. I'm boycotting the meeting to protest your release! I think they give R.S. Presidents a year off after being released. You don't even have to go to church. You can stay home and blog to your hearts content and everyone's happy.

I am LoW said...

When I was released from Primary Pres, I went over the the new PP's house, handed her all the stuff, and let out the biggest sigh.

Then I felt weird, not having something. And I went to the Bishop and said, "hurry.... I can't just sit here." :-)

Bloggonit! LOVE it!! :-)

T said...

enjoy the break - it's sure to be brief... unless of course they've been reading your bloggy apostasy over here!

word verification is "gentli"... see, even the verifier thinks you should take it easy :)

T said...

Bloggonit is my new fave "crash word"... Do you feel like Shakespeare now that you're inventing words?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Good morning everyone. Look how early I'm up. I'm not blogging right now. I'm reading Plato and downsizing my ginormous hair for my class.

I just wanted to say IWA, HOW THE HELK DID YOU FIND ME?

Oh my goodness, oh my goodness. Is nothing private anymore?

hee hee

Seriously, I was shocked to see you here. But that was really sweet what you said. It's weird though because YOU are the most truthful person I have ever met. I wish I could tell you a few things that I saw this past year, but I best not via my comment box. I hope I run into you soon. I met your smart aunt yesterday. I'm glad your baby survived the blackout. You SHOULD have called.

Colleen, you are so kind. MAHALO! Maybe I'll get to be in YW with you now. After my year break, of course. Maybe they can call me to be the ward bloginist or blogister. Hey, we haven't talked in forever.

Lo, I know what you mean. I'm not quite there yet. I'm still baptizing my house with soft scrub.

T, hee hee. That was funny. Shakespeare!? Did he make up words? ;)

Okay, I'm reading Plato now.

Aloha, and have a nice day!!!!!!!!!!

sara said...

I'm so jealous! Getting released is still my number one goal for 2009, only I'm in the YW. I know they always say the grass is greener on the other side, and in your case, it's literally greener in Hawaii, but I'd take RS any day over sarcastic teenagers.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Does that mean you have been released from our Relief Society sisterhoood here on your blog? Because I will volunteer to be President if you would like? Then you can be called as one of my counselors!

I don't want to stop coming...if I've been dedicated to going to anything religiously it has been this blog!

Just sayin'...

My word verifier's got nothin'

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

When I was release I could not stop crying. It was totally ridonkulous. Because it was so ridiculously difficult doing the pres job with 3 small children. Anywho, finally when I could not stop crying I went to a counselor who told me that it was all this unresolved grief from losing Camille. This was only 3 years after I lost her and I had been so busy that I had not had time to grieve. So I worked on that for a while. I still could not beleive how hard it was. I was camp serv leader for six months until I did get called to stake RS. Stake jobs totally rock by the way. Lots of fun and not so much of the day to day grind. I hope I did not jinx you with all that joking I did about being released. But with time you will get used to the change. I hate change I think that is another problem. And perhaps being our RS pres will help fill a void that has been left.

wf: seeck, like seek

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Forgot to log in, so I can follow comments. he he he

nevadanista said...

Oh my - tying the husband to the bed...

I'm pretty sure your successor will have a hard time filling your shoes! Congrats :)

Mariko said...

Yay. I'm so glad you'll have time now to help me clean my house.

Sandi said...

Hey if you going to start cleaning houses, I'm next! I know it's a bit of a trip, but seriously I need help.

JustRandi said...

It's a freedom I can only dream of.
Enjoy it, my friend!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh Sara, you silly goose, you ARE a sarcastic teenager. Cutie patootie.

Nutty Hamster Chick. How sweet. You must have been a tarn good R.S. Pres. I haven't cried my heart out yet. I hope I do. Just to know I'm human. I might, seeing as it's my time of the month and all. I think the Diana theory is spot on, and YES, I accept the position as your R.S Blog president. hee hee

Oh wait. Shelle can have the crown and I'll be her 1st counselor. Alyson can be our enrichment leader.

P.S. I'm not cleaning anybodies house. Sorry. I mean, I totally WOULD, if I could . . . it's just . . . I can't, so I won't.

No hard feelings?

Calidore said...

I had no idea being LDS could be so irrevrently revrent. I've been doing it wrong all these years. I fell short trying to be like Spencer, when I really should have taken a page out of Golden Kimball's book. It should make for an interesting new year.

Natalie said...

Wow! That's about it. Wow!