Oh my goodness, oh my goodness! I am feeling extremely blogged down (and blogged up too) since I didn't unload all my extra thoughts yesterday.
The first thing I have to get off my chest is that I'm sad because one of my favorite authors died on Sunday. I was lucky enough to interview and photograph him a few summers back in Fiji. Click here for my photo tribute.
I'm also sad because I think I need to start getting over the whole Jack Johnson thing. It's too time consuming to listen to him sing as he walks toward me and then wraps his arm around me.
(But do you guys want to know what it feels like when Jack Johnson wraps his arm around you? Do you? Do you? Do you?)
It feels like the universe is giving you a ginormous wink.
Thanks Universe! LY
So remember the other day when I saw Jack Johnson? Do you remember how before I saw him I told my husband I was going to get a brilliant idea? And remember how before I saw him I had on the magical skimmer shorts that Martha bought for me at Kohls.com?
Well I did have a brilliant idea that day. Two brilliant ideas actually.
My first brilliant idea was to start a sisterhood. Kinda like a Ya Ya sisterhood of the traveling pants, but ours will be the Sha Ka sisterhood of the traveling shorts.
We will send the magical shorts around the world to each other. When you receive the shorts you CAN'T slip them on until you light a candle, do the shaka sign, and say hang loose 13 times--except Jami, who only has to say it 12 times because she's very superstitious.
I pinky promis that while you are wearing the shorts, you will either get a brilliant idea, win a million dollars or have Jack Johnson wrap his arm around you.
Best case scenario: When Jack Johnson wraps his arm around you his creative power will supercharge your electrons which will then send nueronilogical impulses to your brain which will then induce the brilliant million dollar idea.
That's how it happened for me anyway, so I can only speak for myself.
Do you want to hear my brilliant million dollar idea?
Roadies. We become roadies. We can start in California by renting a van down by the river which we will tie dye purple. Or we could paint it to look like a yellow submarine. Either one.
We pick up Jami and Miss Heidi and Melanie J. and we start blogging across America. We'll swing up and get Kritta22 in Alaska and Jen in Washington, then . . .
No, wait! Hows about we jog across America like Forrest Gump.
OR . . . hows about you guys jog across America and I'll ride along side you in the yellow submarine and blog my brains out about it. I can get photos of all you guys in your little running shorts.
We'll stop in Ideeho and pick the old boat guy to drive the submarine (so I can blog). Then we'll go to the desert and pick up Pat and Nevadanistas and T and April and Shelle and Susan and Binks. Then we'll move through Northern Utah like a storm, picking up everyone we know, except those who live in Provo. In Provo we'll go from house to house poking everyone in the eye until they pinky promise to read me.
We'll move through the entire united states until we get to Emily and Alyson. Of course we should stop in New York City to watch Spamalot before we take our yellow submarine across the Atlantic to Germany where we'll pick up Blogging Mama. We'll totally raid her closet before we make our final destination to the headbanger's house to see if he's really as happy as he claims to be.
So who's in, guys?
Just think of the stories we could tell? Think of how much weight we/you could lose. Annie Valentine could stop eating so much salami. I will even donate my husband's Christmas bonus hymn book to the biggest loser.
Think of the publicity! Think of the fame and fortune and everything that goes with it--all the high adventure and the super hopeless romance.
I'm seriously so pumped about it.
Do you guys think Tamn would come? We could blog about her labor and delivery and we could help her raise her twins in our van down by the river.
Okay, you guys keep brainstorming. I Gotsta run! Me ILs are moving back in tomorrow and for some reason they want clean sheets.
P.S. Today is my jack-apostate brother Stephen's birthday. HB, JAStephen! And LY!
Please leave him some cake in my comment box.
Do you want to see a picture of us when we were best buddies?