I can say what I need to say in 28 minutes.
I can because I have to.
And I have to because 28 minutes is all I got before I promised I would take the Christmas tree down. (Should I be embarrassed that it's still up?)
I couldn't take the Christmas tree down earlier today because I have been so uber busy playing matchmaker for all the single socks living under my roof. I can't trust my husband to match them up because he condones inter-racial sock relationships and that goes against my moral footwear code.
I also attended three basketball games and a soccer game, of which Jack Johnson was not present, even though I brought my camera this time.
Bummer, I know. I really wanted to run my song idea by him.
I keep telling everyone I'm not going to take the tree down until I get the Christmas spirit, but I think I'm lying. I think I've just been in a blog fog.
I think. But I can't be sure.
Besides, after my Truth or Dare Retreat I actually did get the Christmas spirit. Seriously, the door to my heart cracked open a bit and I can feel the extra love flowing in and out.
It's a little frightening. I want to squish my kids everytime I see them. And I gave my husband a kiss on the forehead while he was sleeping. I kept staring at him and thinking what a fabulous person he is and how lucky I am.
When I kissed him he flinched and said, "That was freaky."
But the down side to love is being afeared. Of losing them all. My eyes fill to the brim when I think on it. Usually my heart is a really good door slammer, but it's like there's something in the way now.
Did you guys put your foot in my door?
Now I only have 19 minutes to say what I need to say.
The first thing I need to say is I'm just about to make my 10,000th hit. YAY! Only 990,000 more to reach my goal.
To celebrate I was trying to think of something I could give away. I was going to give my favorite smell in the whole world--Cherry Blossom Bath and Body Works because I'm pretty much out anyway so I wouldn't miss it, but my husband was like, "uuuuhhhh, NO!"
Then I thought why not give away my Christmas bonus? My new hymn book. My husband got one too and who need two hymn books? Who even needs one hymn book?
So I asked my husband where my hymn book was and he said, "You didn't get a hymn book. You're adjunct faculty, remember?"
I must have looked confused because then he said, "Remember you don't get retirement savings or employer matching or hymn books?"
And I said, "But I wrote on my blog that I got a hymnbook." And he said "Well, you must have lied because you didn't get one."
And I said, "Well, can I give away YOUR Christmas bonus hymn book then?"
And he said "DEFINITELY!"
So, YAY! I'm giving away my husband's Christmas bonus hymn book to my 10,000th hitter. YOU could be the proud owner.
But you have to be able to do a round off back hand spring back layout in my comment box too.
You don't get nothing for nothing, you know.
I also need to say thanks to Youngblood4ever for translating my ancient Chinese secret message from the universe. Apparently it said, Stop looking on the ceiling for messages from the universe.
That is really deep.
I also need to say thank you for all that you shared with me and each other during the retreat both in my comment box and via email. It touched me and I can't stop pondering it. I'm even drafting a letter about it to my favorite therapist Ask Liz @ She's Got Fluid. She is so much more qualified to give advice than I am. All I can think of to say is HUGS! and LY! and Sorry Charlie!
You guys can ask her ANYTHING. She's da bomb at AMAZING advice.
During the retreat I also found my first offical CTD Dairies Social Worker, Robin from Serenity Now. I'm going to call her Dr. Robin because she is also da bomb at giving compassionate/comforting words of wisdom.
(I also need to say that there are some dangerous "S" words out there. Silence can be golden, but when it's mixed with shame it can be damaging.)
(Silence + Shame = Secrets and secrets keep us isolated and lonely.)
(Silence + Shame + (s.e.x. abuse) = SADNESS! This is what my letter to Ask Liz is about and I can't talk about it in less than 4 minutes, but can I just say, LY to those of U who have suffered from S+S+SA=S.)
UBER BIG HUGS!
A moment of silence . . .
Sigh . . .