My Creative Writing Teacher Found Me!

He said he googled CWT of CTD and found his name on my blog. (Does that sound suspicious to anyone else?) You'd think he'd wait for an email invite w/a link. 

I'm just sayin.

But anyway, he said he likes my blog okay, and that he would have commented, but he's still a pen and paper kind-a-guy who has trouble expressing himself unless using red ink, plus he's a former BYU football player so . . . bottom line, he couldn't figure it out.

And, surprise surprise, he had a few corrections for me. (kill-joy!)

If I may:

Dummy, (name has been changed to protect my identity) 

Thanks for letting me know about your blog. (I thought he said he googled me!) Some corrections: Stephenie Meyer, a BYU Provo graduate in English, is married, with 3 kids. She also has a Church calling. (I bet she's sassy though). 

Second, I am sure I never made such outlandish comments about Mormons and great writers. I mean never. Right now we’re loaded with great LDS writers in addition to Scott (They're on a middle name basis) Card (Shannon Hale—active LDS, married and a mother---winner of a Newbery Honor; Martine Leavitt---active LDS, married and a mother---a National Book Award finalist; Jessica Day George, active, married, kids, and a recent baby this month, with a multiple book contract and a handful of hot fantasy novels out; Brandon Sanderson, one of the hottest fantasy authors around right now---active LDS, married, and so on). (yada yada yada.  Is this supposed to make me feel better?)

So knowing how prescient (Who uses that word?) I am and always have been, there’s no way I could have made a statement back in 1991 that said there never would be any truly great Mormon writers. (Well, that' NOT what he said in 1992).

Of course, if I did say something to that effect, there’s a good chance I had no idea what I was talking about. (At least he's keepin it real!) I guess it’d be better to say that active LDS authors have more challenges, demands, and limitations placed on them than do other folks, so those Mormon writers who do make it big deserve our admiration and attention.

He also said I shouldn't let my blogging get in the way of my writing, which means quit-your-lying-young-lady!  (Uh, they don't call it creative writing for nothin, teach!) He also wonders why I still insist on using non-descript titles like Untitled.  Unbeknownst to him I was performing an experiment to see if my fans like me for me or if they're just using me for my obsessions with dirty rotten Mormons who can't write and . . . pearly white Mormons who can sing  (If he had only asked I would have told him that I still got 7,000 hits with an untitled title, so there!)

But worst. part. of. all. . . . he said I've put on a few lbs since college and that this font isn't one bit flattering.

On the upside, after my husband found me crying in the bathroom, he offered to spring for a blog make-over! I'm so excited. Shauna's doing it. Any suggestions from my fans? Glam? Retro? Post-modern? Techno? Post-Techno? Post-Modern-Techno? 

I hope my CTW doesn't figure out how to comment.

(Hey guess what . . . I think Sarah Palin might be reading my blog because I got a hit from Wasilla Alaska yesterday.  Please please don't come out of the closet if you're not Sarah Palin. Especially if your name is Pat.)

Anyway, this little unexpected encounter with my creative writing teacher is not going to break my stride. And I still hold him completely responsible for my bad habit of lying (plus a lot of my other bad habits) And I'm not going to stop spilling my guts about him either.  

 

Starting tomorrow . . . cause right now I need some flaming hot crunchy Cheetos and a Pina Colada Jamba Juice. 

(Hey, does anyone want to go to Abargios with me?)