No More (Osmond) Give-A-Ways!

Hey guys, I found the secret to doubling your hits. No need to waste your money or time doing give-a-ways. Just embed/imbed the word Osmond somewhere in your title.  I kid you not, it works.  Also the words broken bones and body casts can spike your numbers.

(If that doesn't produce the desired results, with the money you were going to give away, pay off one of your famous blogger buddies to spread pixie dust over her keyboard then write a glittering review of your blog.  Thanks Lisa.  Chuck-A-Rama gift card is in the mail!) 

On a serious note, two seriously noteworthy things happened today:

First, my conscience was pricked by the Acorn voter fraud scandal and I began feeling guilt about breaking into all my loved one's accounts and forcing them, at gunpoint, to be my followers just so I could impress my husband.

And then, all the socks in the laundry matched up! What are the chances? I took this as a sign from the sock gods that my conscience can be made whole (and clean) again from my trans/re/gressions.

So after being called pathetic by my bbff (bestest blogger friend forever) Lisa, the funny farmer, I did some serious soul searching. I gave my inner wounded child a hug and I told her that she's good enough, smart enough and doggonit, people like her, and then I grabbed my swim suit and my husband and we did a little exercise/therapy (not Annie-style, btw).

I have now apologized to all my loved ones for taking away their agency. (They all stopped reading me over a week ago so they were a little bugged about it.)

For my community service I've donated all my false followers to everyone who helped me through this little crisis and I have removed those followers from my own blog (except my kids because I try to be a good leader and they should try be good followers,) (oh, and my class because I'm giving them extra credit,) (and my book blog because Jami thinks I'm cuter than her in that photo,) (And I might leave my family blog as a follower because families are forever.) (But the rest are gone!)

If you don't mind, I'd like to send a big blogger mahalo to all my kind blogging sistas for their advice and support, and for expressing their jealousy over how good I look in this font. They were right about my husband loving me even though I never once received a single public valentine during high school, (that I didn't send to myself).  (Not complaining, though).

So why do I still feel kinda . . . dirty?